living

humans beings all of us are
awkward creatures dressed up
acting polite kissing the air by our cheeks
dancing around to cover up our secret sense
of ineptitude

it reminds me painfully
of an obligatory pubescent high school
dance no one quite comfortable in their
own skin trying so hard to behave
as if we are all in charge of our destines and not
terrified of dying or worse, old age

occasionally we accidentally manage
to love or feel an evasive connection
of spirit to another human being who
once had pimples and bras that we didn't quite fill out
or hard-ons and wet dreams

and we stumble we ache trying
to get the steps right to
a dance we never learned and we can't quite touch
our hungry grasping fingertips across

the abyss.

insanity

the pot-bellied robin
outside the plate glass
window
is trying to get in

he flies up
the outside
as if climbing a
sheer-faced rock

then -
bang!

falling stupidly
dazed
shaken

his stunned body
tumbling
clamoring
for a wing-hold

then fluttering
up
the side of the glass
bang!

he tries it again
as if he's in a Windex
commercial

then again
bang!
dazed

perhaps
threatening
a concussion

we laugh
all of us
on the inside

amused by
his bird-brain

but maybe
i think
we're a little embarrassed
too

knowing
that all of us
have done
the same thing
over and over again
expecting
different results

and we have
the scars
to prove it.

I, Eve

i am
innocent

of all charges

nobody ever
asked me
my side of the Story

What Really Happened

everybody
wants to blame someone
for their troubles

me

women still curse me
when they give birth
in pain

or have to
fake another orgasm

but I was
There

nobody wants
to hear the
voice of the Damned

I was hungry

that's all

I was hungry

God said the fruit
of That Tree
was especially good
to eat

why mention that?

a dare?

I needed something
different

a new taste

and my mouth watered
my stomach growled
at the sight
of that Special Fruit

and
God said
it would give me
Knowledge
Insight Into the Mysteries

I needed knowledge
I was brand new
Here

I didn't know
anything

nothing

I was a child
in a fully formed
body

I needed help

Adam didn't help
He just sat there
all day
doing nothing

he seemed to like
the set-up
everything done
for him

but i was
bored

restless

already I felt
stirrings
in my own body
that i didn't understand

desires
pleasures
feelings

like when Adam and I
touched

things
happened

and it was Good

so
the snake and I
got to talking

it was magical
to have an intelligent
conversation

to think
and ask
and wonder

the snake
was Wise
very Wise

I wanted that too

Eat, he said
eat of Wisdom,
knowledge
expand...

and it was
wonderful

i thought
so many thoughts
with the sweetest juice

rolling down my chin
it filled me
enlightened me

it opened my eyes!
i had to share it
with my beloved

we shared
connection
insight
beauty

and so God
thought we were ready
for the
Rest of the World

and God gave us
clothes
to stay warm

but as the Story
got passed down
over the centuries
it was distorted

into a myth
of Sin, Disobedience

Shame

but I am Eve
I am
Mother of All Living

Mother
of Wisdom

Seeker of Truth
and Beauty

the world--not I--
gives you Shame

I, Eve
give you Wisdom

and
Wonder.

big

God is..
BIG...
I said

and the theologians
frowned

what did they want?

asking about
the nature of God
is like asking

to describe
the sweetness
of a kiss

the power
of a tornado

the touch
of a butterfly's
wings
against your palm

to say Who
What
How
God is

is like
trying to measure
the arc
of a dolphin's leap

or describing
the aroma
of honeysuckle
on the wind

or the
sensation
of a lover's embrace

do not ask me
to reduce God
to a reasonable
sentence

an understandable
creed
a formula
that seperates
good and bad

it's like
asking me to
tell you
how it feels

to make love
with my beloved

to feel that
safe
yet vulnerable
with another

to lose boundaries
of Self and Other
yet
to know
finally
who you are

these walls
hold in
keep out

these stained glass
windows

make things pretty
that aren't

let the sky in
breathe in
Creation
watch the cocoon
unfold
into brilliance

stand in the
broken waves
of the sea

see the eagle
fly
over the prairie

and then

then

speak to me
of God.

it's what's for dinner

those cows

in that trailer

i swear they're

looking at me

hooked up

to a truck

parked

next to Casey's General Store

they peek through

the opening

long, sultry eyelashes

framing big brown eyes

moo!

that's what they said

help!

is what i heard

i wanted to

apologize

for my taste

for beef

especially london broil

that's my favorite

or filet mignon

wrapped in bacon

but hey,

who likes pigs, anyway?

grilled is best

on an outdoor barbeque

that smell of grilled beef

in summertime

i usually eat min e

medium

i don't like it

too rare

i'm sorry

i said

to the mooing cows

batting those eyelashes

those eyes

those soulful eyes

boring into me

i started the car

and drove past

noticing then

that they were dairy cows

(feeling quite silly)

and I vowed

then and there

to drink more milk.

resurrection

"In the midst of life we are in death, from whom can we seek help?"

-9th century

the first time

i died

was when cancer

stole you

all i remember

of purgatory

was the

nothingness

emptiness

i don't remember

feeling

and i wondered

if that was what

death felt like

but your death

gave me a boundary

living in the end-times

gave me relief

a limit

a horizon

an end i could see

the second time

i died

my childhood playmate

ceased breathing

no illness

no accident

no tidy explanation

her body

made its own

decision

to cease

then death

was around every corner

lurked in closets

behind every wheel

like a probation officer

waiting for me to make a mistake

life and death

played tug of war

with my soul

and always

there was you

in the shadows

of every friendship

i could hear

your giggle

in every grace note

the third time

i died was

when i walked

that lonesome valley

beside the friend

who snatched my hand

because she didn't want

to walk it by herself

but then she sighed

and let go of my grip

i descended into Hades

kicked butt with some demons

and hoped for the worst

not realizing that the worst

had already happened

so i decided

to leave hell

and live

until i died

for good.

self esteem

i admire
the quiet person
who seems
content
to choose
what footsteps
she will make
without being pushed
in any one direction
by a crowd of bodies
caught up in the mob

there is a world
inside of her
that no one else
can know
unless she chooses
and she alone decides
how much

she is watching
the world
seeing the small
the unnoticed
and making poetry

i love her
because
she makes people nervous
they're afraid
she sees them
or is keeping secrets

i love her
because she smiles
seemingly unruffled
by social pressure
to be loud
to make others
comfortable

she squeezes honey
from a rock
paints beauty and color
out of a
black and white world
takes the blood
of death
and brings life.