finding my way home

i thought it was normal
it had to be because if it wasn't
then who was i? what was i?
who would deliver me from madness?

you strutted like a king the wisest of all
people reached for you needed you
put you up on a platform that no one
could reach if they were mere humans

the higher you rose the lower i sank
i was nothing i was nobody i was
invisible
in the negative numbers

when i tried to speak truth they
accused me of being crazy ungrateful
a woman born of eve, perhaps
banished from the garden of perfection

i  choked on my own darkness yet you
kept shining your own light in my eyes
confusing, disorienting
twisting any sense of reality i had

into mayhem

i was not alone
people came people heard me people listened
some believed me some lifted me some
sheltered me and even saved me

all unlikely characters emerged in my
dramatic play wearing funny hats but
loving me, redeeming me
inviting me to the horizon the sunrise

you dismantled all my tools deflated any
confidence damning my core
but somehow
somehow

there was just enough breath
left in some hidden corner some obscure
light that would not go out
and suddenly i could walk

i could run

i could go far away

right into the sunrise
the garden that welcomed me home
arms that would love me empower
me strengthen my legs heal

my center

and roll away the stone
that blocked any possibilities
of life
and I

was

free