“UNBELIEVABLE”
John 20:1-18
Faith United
Easter, 2008
I like Mary Magdalene
I don’t care what you say about her,
I like that woman
I’d like to meet her
She was what my father would refer to as one of those
“pushy women”
And that was not a compliment, I assure you
Pushy women
tell it like it is
they push and push until the truth is told
When something stirs up their passion
you can’t stop them,
they can get annoying
in their persistence
They won’t just leave well enough alone
they never stay in their place
they offer their opinion
and they don’t give up
when others don’t want to listen
Or when others dismiss them
as just another pushy broad
or they give her a worse name
I like Mary Magdalene
She had spunk
She had to, she was on her own
She didn’t have a husband
or any family that we know of
She had to make do on her own
find her own way
At one point
well, they say she was crazy
that she was possessed by demons
It’s likely
A single woman in that culture
trying to be taken seriously
trying to find ways to make enough money to live on
when one of the few options for single women
was prostitution
People assumed that’s what she was
Nowhere does it say that in the Scripture
but again, there were few job opportunities available
for single women back then
and so, we make our assumptions
Anyway, trying to find her way in that culture
with so few choices,
well, that would drive anyone crazy
She was right there, in the thick of things
She really loved Jesus
People wondered about their relationship, you know
how can a man and woman be so close
if there wasn’t something else going on?
There were lots of rumors and speculations
because people have a hard time celebrating
when someone has something special
there must be something wrong with it….
Anyway,
Mary Magdalene was a woman of passion
She felt things deeply
her love for Jesus gave her enormous power
and strength
He saved her life
in more ways than one
He saved her sanity
He took her seriously
He saw something beautiful in her
When others just thought she was pushy
She never left him
I get the image of the mother in the movie “Steel Magnolias”
When her daughter was on a respirator and there was no hope
One by one, her father, her brothers, her husband
all left her bedside
they couldn’t stand the pain
They couldn’t take it
But her mother, Molynn, stayed there, night and day
talked to her, held her hand, moved her legs
read to her
Mary was like that
She wouldn’t leave
That day on the hill of Golgotha
no civilized person should have to witness what happened there
it was enough to break the strongest of people
Crucifixion was cruel and unusual punishment
a slow, suffering, torture
that sometimes went on for days
It was brutal to watch
worse than any horror movie
and yet Mary was there
the disciples couldn’t take it
no one knows exactly where they were,
except John
John was there,
some figure he was Jesus’ best friend
But the others weren’t able to watch
But Mary did
she wouldn’t leave him
We call it Good Friday
but I’m still at a loss as to what was good about it
I know all the pious answers to that
but they don’t cut it
when the rubber hits the road
when you come right down to it
there’s nothing good about Good Friday
Especially if you happened to be there
Many of us have been there
not on Golgotha, but we’ve experienced our own Good Fridays
sometimes they go on for days, weeks, months, years even
And during that time
it feels like nothing will ever feel good again
Mary Magdalene watched her beloved friend,
the one who saved her life over and over again
she had to watch him be unjustly executed
There was nothing she could do
She had no power to stop the madness
The hope that Jesus gave her
died on that cross that day
I’m personally amazed that Mary Magdalene was still standing
much less able to walk to the tomb
in the darkness of that morning
Sabbath was over,
but that Sabbath was no day of rest for her
I bet she spent the Sabbath sobbing
until she couldn’t cry anymore
Until she ended up looking like Rocky after a fight
I bet she wailed
I bet she ranted against the Romans
the church officials
against Judas
Maybe she even ranted against Jesus
how could you let this happen??
Why did you let me believe in you,
why did you make me love you
if it was only going to come to this??
You made me believe in a God of possibilities
and miracles
You raised me up, only to let me fall that much farther….
I bet Mary Magdalene feared for her sanity all over again
because the grief was so devastating
the hopelessness out of control
maybe she would just go back to crazy
I don’t know how she was able to stand up
much less face the darkness that morning
much less face the grave
but she did
She carried a jar of spices to anoint his body
and walked alone in the solitude of the breaking day
Her knees must have gone weak
when she saw the tomb was opened
how much more indignity must Jesus suffer?
Surely now, she was crazy
Peter and John came
when she called them
hysterical
but they looked in,
looked into the darkness
and saw nothing but graveclothes
If someone had stolen his body
why would they bother to undress him first?
Why would they take the time to neatly
roll up the cloth that had covered his face?
It seemed strangely obsessive compulsive
but there were too many other details to deal with
for them to worry about that
Peter and John left
Left Mary alone
doubled over with grief and insanity
weeping at the tomb
The whole thing is unbelievable
if you think about it
I mean, who’s crazy here?
Actually, we’re not sure what happened that day
nobody really knows
Matthew says there were three women
and an earthquake
and a light that came down from the sky
and these big bad angels were there
to announce that Jesus was alive
It was very theatrical
John says that only Mary was there
that Peter and John showed up for a little bit
but then left and went home
No earthquake,
no angel
no bright lights and booming voices
so the details are a little sketchy
Luke agrees there was other women there
and angels bringing the news to them
But according to Luke
the disciples laughed at the women
when they carried the news to them
they dismissed as an idle tale
from those hysterical women
and they didn’t believe
It doesn’t matter what the details are
In fact, you know how it is
when something happens
there are so many different versions of the story
from different perspectives
But that doesn’t make it any less true
Mary was bold
Mary was strong,
she reached into the darkness of the tomb
and found nothing but cloth
Cloth that still bore the familiar smell of her dear friend
Maybe she wrapped it around herself
like a blanket
to try to feel his presence again
Maybe she used the cloth to dry her tears
as she rocked and moaned on the hard earth
It was unbelievable that someone could be so cruel
as to steal the body
when would all the indignity end?
Was there no limit to cruelty?
It was unbelievable to her, too,
when the gardener approached her
couldn’t he see that she needed to be alone?
He seemed nice, though
“Why are you weeping?” he said
She told him
with some bitterness in her voice
what had happened to her, to her friend
Please, she pleaded,
just give me back the body
if you know where it is, I’ll take it away
I will take care of it….
The gardener said, “Mary, Hi.”
Unbelievable
She really was going crazy
She had really lost it this time,
over the edge, no coming back
she had lost her mind, she thought
That man,
sounded like… just like, and he looked like…
All the breath in her body left her
“Rabboni!”
and then she stopped
“Rabboni??”
Oh I wish they could have hugged
I wish she could have just soaked his robe
with her happy tears
and kissed him all over his face
but he wouldn’t let her
“don’t hug me,” he said
“don’t cling to me,”
but it didn’t matter,
she just stared at him with delirious joy
She had to remind herself to breathe
Don’t cling to me
Moments like that, wow…
moments like that, you want to freeze frame
you want time to stop
so you can savor the joy, the beauty of the moment
clutch onto it
so it won’t disappear, so it won’t go away
leaving you alone again
but you can’t
You gotta keep moving
keep living
carrying that moment in your heart,
and trusting it will never leave you
It was unbelievable
It’s crazy, really, if you think about it
that we believe it
That we buy Easter lilies and invite family home
and cook a special dinner
all because of this story
about a man who died
and rose from the dead
The whole world celebrates today
because of this story
Isn’t that wild?
Some people say that the empty tomb is the good news
but I don’t think so
the empty tomb is just an empty tomb
You can visit it
but you won’t find anything in it
and you can’t stay there,
because, well, it’s empty
it’s finished, it’s done what it was supposed to do
The good news happens
in the encounter with the Risen Christ
The good news started, not when Mary Magdalene found the tomb empty
the good news started when Jesus simply said,
“Mary.”
Easter started in that moment
that took Mary’s breath away
It continued when she went to the upper room
and pounded on the door
till those weenie disciples opened up
and she threw her arms around Peter’s neck
and said, “Peter, hug me!!
Dance with me!! He’s alive!! He’s ok!! It’s not over!!
It’s only just begun!!”
and Peter got dizzy from being spun around in circles
And Easter keeps happening
any time someone finds hope again
anytime someone finds healing again
Easter happens when we sing,
when we hug, when tears come to our eyes
even if they are sad tears
and hopeful tears
and trying-to-believe-the-unbelievable tears
Easter happens again and again and again
I smell it now
in the perfume of these flowers
I see it now, in your faces
C.S. Lewis wrote in his book, “A Grief Observed,”
“You never know how much you really believe anything
until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter
of life and death to you….
only real risks test the reality of a belief.”
In other words,
we celebrate this crazy story every year
but do we believe it?
We don’t know
what we believe until we are UP AGAINST it
until what we believe IS a matter of life or death
until what we believe brings light to our darkness
and relief to our weary hearts
That’s when we know what we truly believe
when it’s tested
and found to be strong enough
to stand the brutal testing
We’ve known Good Friday
for some of us, we’re still living it
but there’s a risen Jesus out there on the loose
making Easter happen again and again
he left his death clothes behind
and he’s now wearing the clothes of a gardener
of someone who nurtures new life,
new colors, new beauty
who buries seeds in the ground
believing that they will grow into something miraculous
And he knows your name
he knows who you are, where you’ve been
where you’ve come from, and where you’re going
The tomb is empty,
there’s no use hanging out there
Jesus is out there on the loose
setting his spirit loose on the whole world
and he wants you to come,
he wants to follow
and join him on the adventure
And Easter will happen all over again
for you and for me
every time
we bump into that mysterious gardener….
And it’ll be unbelievable
every time.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Celebration of the Life of Jesus
GOOD FRIDAY
March 21, 2008
Somebody should say something
It’s about time somebody said something
people are afraid to say anything
and then look what happens
innocent people suffer
I can’t change that now
but I think someone ought to say something about him
Not everybody hated him
you’d think it, if you were there that day
you’d think the whole world was against him
I hate to say it, but it was easy to think
that even God was against him
God didn’t do anything
we prayed, we pleaded, but God was silent
Even he prayed
I heard him
he was praying from the psalms,
“Eli, eli, laba sabach thani?”
My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?
It was awful… there was nothing we could do
I don’t know what happened
But I’ll tell you, he didn’t deserve it
not at all
I mean, even if you didn’t agree with everything he said
or everything he did
I mean, c’mon, he didn’t deserve
to be tortured and killed
Some were thinking he was the Messiah
I don’t know about all that
but I do know that he was a breath of fresh air
he gave us hope
and that’s no small thing
He just came into a room
and his presence filled it
he didn’t have to do anything
you just suddenly felt the air change, somehow
you could breathe a little better
knowing he was closeby
people just wanted to be near him
kind of soak up his goodness
his peace
He had a way of looking at you
you know, I mean, really looking at you
Most people don’t look at you in the eye
as if you’ll see something in them
they don’t want you to see
but it was ok with him
he never took his eyes off you
when you were with him
and it did feel like he could see right through you
into your heart, into your soul
but it was ok
it wasn’t scary
he made you feel …. safe
He’d always smile a bit
not too flashy
just a smile kind of teasing the corners of his mouth
as if he knew something
but it didn’t feel like he was laughing at you
not at all
but it was like he saw something wonderful
something beautiful
and he was just appreciating it
it could be a little unnerving
He preached, but he didn’t preach like he knew it all
He wasn’t full of himself
like, hey, look at me, I’ve got all the answers
buy my book, and you will find happiness
He just … spoke
and he said so many wonderful things
some of it was like, yeah, everybody should know that
but they don’t
You know, like, Love each other
or do to others what you have them do to you
I mean, it makes sense
Or that an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
doesn’t solve anything
it just makes things worse
People weren’t so kind when he contradicted Moses
but it made sense
He spent a lot of time alone
I mean, he had a lot of friends
everybody wanted to hang out with him
but he’d go off by himself for hours at a time
some people said he was praying
whatever he was doing
it seemed to calm him, center him
he was the calmest person
I ever saw …
well, except if you got him mad
but he didn’t seem to get mad so much
at people that hurt HIM
as he did at people who hurt somebody else
especially anyone who couldn’t stick up for themselves
Man, you mess with children,
that really ticked him off
But really, he also stood up for prostitutes and drunks
as if he understood that they were being controlled by something
much bigger than them
Anyone, really, who was on the outside
who didn’t FIT
they were the ones he tended to gravitate toward
He didn’t like the politicians
He wouldn’t let anyone use him
and he ducked out whenever anyone wanted to
make a king out of him
He didn’t like people who had everything
and didn’t give any of it away
or people who seemed to live for money
and power
In fact, you could count on the fact
that if anyone of any importance
invited him over for dinner to look good
he usually said something to embarrass them
He didn’t think twice about questioning their priorities
He just wasn’t the kind of guy
to keep the peace at all costs
Jesus-- that’s his name--
he didn’t pull any punches
what you saw was what you got
there wasn’t a pretentious bone in his body
He wasn’t the kind of guy that would
swallow his anger
and be nice just to keep the peace
Man, he got into the faces of the religious guys
with all the fancy robes and the big salaries
and he told them what he thought
that they were FAKE
that they were using the church
for their own gain, their own power
that they were neglecting the widows and the children
and anyone who didn’t have a voice
He called them whitened sepulcheres
and broods of vipers
I mean, man, no one else would have had the nerve!
Even if they did believe it…
He was invited to dinner at important people’s houses
and he just was himself
he didn’t wear anything fancier
he didn’t act any different
whether he was with a street beggar
talking to a prostitute
or hanging out with the big Guys of the temple
You just got the feeling he wasn’t all that impressed with them
their money, their education
and their influence
Which I gotta say, really ticked them off
because those guys rely on all that
to make them get what they want
they didn’t know what to do with Jesus
he really threw them off
You got the feeling he was really smart,
probably smarter than all those Phd guys
and yet he never threw that in your face
He’d come up with the wisest things
just in normal conversation
they seemed so simple
and yet, whoa, he got you thinking
You went home and you were still thinking
about what he said, the story he told
and it was like you kept learning more
the more you thought about it
Weird
Then a lot of things started happening
that no one could explain
I mean, he didn’t make a big deal out of it
but everyone else did
Like that little girl, the daughter of Roman soldier
who died, I mean, she was dead!
but after Jesus went in there
she came walking out with her parents
He said she was just asleep
but we all knew she was dead
I mean, we’re not dumb
but what can you say?
It’s kind of scary
people started thinking he was from the devil
messing with life and death like that
but I think they were scared
because they didn’t understand it
they couldn’t explain it
All kinds of crazy rumors started
it didn’t help when he stayed away
when Lazarus was so sick
I mean, everybody knew
He wasn’t one to play favorites
but you could tell,
Lazarus and his sisters were like family to him
We all knew he loved them in a special way
But we couldn’t figure it out
when He didn’t come
knowing that Lazarus was dying
I mean, it seemed pretty cold
but then--- and I don’t know how to talk about this --
but we were there
when he came back for the funeral
Lazarus was in the tomb
he’d been buried for 4 days
so he must have really stunk, you know
but Jesus insisted they open the grave
we couldn’t believe it
we thought maybe the grief and the guilt
had messed up his head
but they did it
some people would do anything that he said
no matter how far-fetched
Anyway, Jesus came to the tomb
and he had a good cry
it was pretty awkward
no one had ever seen him cry before
and we were a little embarrassed by his tears
but I guess we understood
And dear God, it still gives me chills
to think about it
Jesus called him, by name
as if he was just calling him down for supper
LAZARUS! he said,
COME FORTH!
We thought he was nuts
then we thought WE were nuts
when we saw Lazarus,
I mean, really, I know it’s crazy
but Lazarus walked out when Jesus called
Scared the bejeebies out of all of us !
We didn’t know if it was a ghost
or what
But Jesus smiled, his face still wet with tears
“Unbind my friend,” he said to those standing by
“let him go….”
I can’t explain it
it still gives me the creeps
but Lazarus is back home with his sisters
now HE is the one grieving his friend
and wishes that he had the power to open that tomb
and call his friend back into his arms
he doesn’t understand why he gets to live
while Jesus had to die
Jesus was a great man
He loved everybody
He knew how to have a good time
He loved to laugh
he loved to dance
he loved to be around children
and the children just ADORED him
they’d climb all over him
and he’d just laugh
it seemed to do something for his spirit
I mean, sometimes he’d go off somewhere
inside of himself
a shadow seemed to cross his face
and he looked so sad
but when the children were there,
man, he was so full of joy
soaking up their adoration of him
and their absolute trust in him
It seemed to feed his spirit
It was beautiful to see
cause most people don’t give children the time of day
they’re just pests, you know
they’re always in the way, always underfoot
and they’re incredibly unpredictable
they’re liable to say anything
and they say what they think, what they feel
but Jesus seemed to love that about them
and he’d take them into his arms
no matter how dirty or snotty they happened to be
I don’t know why he had to die
one who was so full of life
one who was so kind
one who stuck up for the defenseless
one who spoke out for those who couldn’t speak out
for themselves
I don’t know why
Everyone with any brains knew he was innocent
he did nothing to deserve death
certainly not execution
as if he were nothing but a beast with no feeling
But nobody did anything
the crowds got out of control
good people turned into monsters
it was crazy
I mean, decent people, people that I’ve known for years
suddenly became barbarians
it was like something evil came over them
and they called for his blood
not just his death
but they wanted him to suffer
they wanted to watch him suffer
as if everything that hurt them
everything that made them mad
everything that was unfair
all that was taken out on him
It was madness
It felt like there was evil in the air
that you could breathe it
I couldn’t talk to people
that I was used to seeing every day
because they were different
they wanted SOMEONE, anyone,
to pay for all the injustices of the world
to pay for all their pain
to pay for all the things that haunted them at night
it was like everything horrible and broken
and evil inside of them
came out and they hurled it all at him
someone had to pay, someone always has to pay
for someone else’s evil
and it’s usually the most innocent
the most loving
the most pure souls
that have managed to survive this far
People who cringe when one of the neighborhood cats
attack and kill an innocent bird
don’t even flinch when they watch
those soldiers do unspeakable things
to those guys on the crosses
How have we become so numb to evil?
Why do we keep our mouths shut?
Why do we try not to notice
for the sake of keeping the peace?
Whose peace are we keeping?
I don’t get it at all
But Jesus did
he knew our hearts
he seemed to understand
what people are like, what they’re capable of
and yet, still,
he kept going, pushing just a little bit more
until they shut him up
made an example out of him
I don’t know,
but I have a feeling that this isn’t the end
that shutting him up won’t solve it
killing him, even with such cruelty
will not stop what he started
people loved him that much
But even facing our own capacity for evil
in the face of this innocent man
will not stop the evil from going on
I’m so afraid that we’ll keep killing
keep slaughtering the innocent
that we’ll turn away when the vulnerable are suffering
and pretend we don’t see
pretend we had nothing to do with it
until someone comes after us, of course
then we’ll care
I hope he didn’t die in vain
I hope the people who remember him
will try to carry on what he started
even if it kills them
even it gets them into trouble
even if keeps them out of public office
or in lousy jobs
I hope we can find it in us
that spark, that piece of us
that is like God,
like Jesus said
That the kingdom of God is within us
I hope we can find that inside of ourselves
and make it grow
I don’t know what happens next
it’d be easy to give in to despair
I don’t know what happens after we die
if anything
or if we’re just dead
Jesus talked about going on ahead
to prepare a place for us
but no one knows what that means
How can he do that if he’s dead?
Did he think that God would save him at the last minute?
Did he expect God to not forsake him?
Was he wrong about God?
Oh God, I hope he wasn’t wrong
I don’t know what he meant about feasting with us again
at the heavenly banquet
or coming back to us,
not leaving us orphaned
None of it makes sense right now
but I’m hoping that someday it will
right now, it feels hopeless
It feels like the other side has won
that we’ll just keep on suffering
we’ll just keep on seeing the politicians
rule the world
and use God to promote their own agenda
and keep the undesirables out of sight
I don’t know what to think
I just know that I loved him
I loved him so much it aches--
take that however you want --
I don’t even know what it means
but I loved him
and I don’t know what we’re going to do without him
how we’ll hope again
how we’ll recover
how we’ll go on
but I think he wanted us to
I think he wanted to keep on doing what he was doing
I don’t know how many of us
have what it takes
none of us want to die
none of us want to get in trouble
none of us want to stir anything up
we all want everyone to like us
but things just can’t go on like this
he wanted to make a difference
he wanted to change the world
and I think he wanted us to keep trying
I will
I will pray to God
even though I don’t know if he still cares
or even God has given up on all of us
I will still pray
I will remember Jesus
and I will press on
I’m not sure how we’ll keep going
but maybe we’ll find strength in each other
and in our love for Jesus
Maybe somehow we’ll find that piece of God
in ourselves
and make Jesus proud
wherever he is
whether we ever get to see him again or not
he gave us reason to keep breathing
and so we will
and trust that God will not forsake us too
March 21, 2008
Somebody should say something
It’s about time somebody said something
people are afraid to say anything
and then look what happens
innocent people suffer
I can’t change that now
but I think someone ought to say something about him
Not everybody hated him
you’d think it, if you were there that day
you’d think the whole world was against him
I hate to say it, but it was easy to think
that even God was against him
God didn’t do anything
we prayed, we pleaded, but God was silent
Even he prayed
I heard him
he was praying from the psalms,
“Eli, eli, laba sabach thani?”
My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?
It was awful… there was nothing we could do
I don’t know what happened
But I’ll tell you, he didn’t deserve it
not at all
I mean, even if you didn’t agree with everything he said
or everything he did
I mean, c’mon, he didn’t deserve
to be tortured and killed
Some were thinking he was the Messiah
I don’t know about all that
but I do know that he was a breath of fresh air
he gave us hope
and that’s no small thing
He just came into a room
and his presence filled it
he didn’t have to do anything
you just suddenly felt the air change, somehow
you could breathe a little better
knowing he was closeby
people just wanted to be near him
kind of soak up his goodness
his peace
He had a way of looking at you
you know, I mean, really looking at you
Most people don’t look at you in the eye
as if you’ll see something in them
they don’t want you to see
but it was ok with him
he never took his eyes off you
when you were with him
and it did feel like he could see right through you
into your heart, into your soul
but it was ok
it wasn’t scary
he made you feel …. safe
He’d always smile a bit
not too flashy
just a smile kind of teasing the corners of his mouth
as if he knew something
but it didn’t feel like he was laughing at you
not at all
but it was like he saw something wonderful
something beautiful
and he was just appreciating it
it could be a little unnerving
He preached, but he didn’t preach like he knew it all
He wasn’t full of himself
like, hey, look at me, I’ve got all the answers
buy my book, and you will find happiness
He just … spoke
and he said so many wonderful things
some of it was like, yeah, everybody should know that
but they don’t
You know, like, Love each other
or do to others what you have them do to you
I mean, it makes sense
Or that an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
doesn’t solve anything
it just makes things worse
People weren’t so kind when he contradicted Moses
but it made sense
He spent a lot of time alone
I mean, he had a lot of friends
everybody wanted to hang out with him
but he’d go off by himself for hours at a time
some people said he was praying
whatever he was doing
it seemed to calm him, center him
he was the calmest person
I ever saw …
well, except if you got him mad
but he didn’t seem to get mad so much
at people that hurt HIM
as he did at people who hurt somebody else
especially anyone who couldn’t stick up for themselves
Man, you mess with children,
that really ticked him off
But really, he also stood up for prostitutes and drunks
as if he understood that they were being controlled by something
much bigger than them
Anyone, really, who was on the outside
who didn’t FIT
they were the ones he tended to gravitate toward
He didn’t like the politicians
He wouldn’t let anyone use him
and he ducked out whenever anyone wanted to
make a king out of him
He didn’t like people who had everything
and didn’t give any of it away
or people who seemed to live for money
and power
In fact, you could count on the fact
that if anyone of any importance
invited him over for dinner to look good
he usually said something to embarrass them
He didn’t think twice about questioning their priorities
He just wasn’t the kind of guy
to keep the peace at all costs
Jesus-- that’s his name--
he didn’t pull any punches
what you saw was what you got
there wasn’t a pretentious bone in his body
He wasn’t the kind of guy that would
swallow his anger
and be nice just to keep the peace
Man, he got into the faces of the religious guys
with all the fancy robes and the big salaries
and he told them what he thought
that they were FAKE
that they were using the church
for their own gain, their own power
that they were neglecting the widows and the children
and anyone who didn’t have a voice
He called them whitened sepulcheres
and broods of vipers
I mean, man, no one else would have had the nerve!
Even if they did believe it…
He was invited to dinner at important people’s houses
and he just was himself
he didn’t wear anything fancier
he didn’t act any different
whether he was with a street beggar
talking to a prostitute
or hanging out with the big Guys of the temple
You just got the feeling he wasn’t all that impressed with them
their money, their education
and their influence
Which I gotta say, really ticked them off
because those guys rely on all that
to make them get what they want
they didn’t know what to do with Jesus
he really threw them off
You got the feeling he was really smart,
probably smarter than all those Phd guys
and yet he never threw that in your face
He’d come up with the wisest things
just in normal conversation
they seemed so simple
and yet, whoa, he got you thinking
You went home and you were still thinking
about what he said, the story he told
and it was like you kept learning more
the more you thought about it
Weird
Then a lot of things started happening
that no one could explain
I mean, he didn’t make a big deal out of it
but everyone else did
Like that little girl, the daughter of Roman soldier
who died, I mean, she was dead!
but after Jesus went in there
she came walking out with her parents
He said she was just asleep
but we all knew she was dead
I mean, we’re not dumb
but what can you say?
It’s kind of scary
people started thinking he was from the devil
messing with life and death like that
but I think they were scared
because they didn’t understand it
they couldn’t explain it
All kinds of crazy rumors started
it didn’t help when he stayed away
when Lazarus was so sick
I mean, everybody knew
He wasn’t one to play favorites
but you could tell,
Lazarus and his sisters were like family to him
We all knew he loved them in a special way
But we couldn’t figure it out
when He didn’t come
knowing that Lazarus was dying
I mean, it seemed pretty cold
but then--- and I don’t know how to talk about this --
but we were there
when he came back for the funeral
Lazarus was in the tomb
he’d been buried for 4 days
so he must have really stunk, you know
but Jesus insisted they open the grave
we couldn’t believe it
we thought maybe the grief and the guilt
had messed up his head
but they did it
some people would do anything that he said
no matter how far-fetched
Anyway, Jesus came to the tomb
and he had a good cry
it was pretty awkward
no one had ever seen him cry before
and we were a little embarrassed by his tears
but I guess we understood
And dear God, it still gives me chills
to think about it
Jesus called him, by name
as if he was just calling him down for supper
LAZARUS! he said,
COME FORTH!
We thought he was nuts
then we thought WE were nuts
when we saw Lazarus,
I mean, really, I know it’s crazy
but Lazarus walked out when Jesus called
Scared the bejeebies out of all of us !
We didn’t know if it was a ghost
or what
But Jesus smiled, his face still wet with tears
“Unbind my friend,” he said to those standing by
“let him go….”
I can’t explain it
it still gives me the creeps
but Lazarus is back home with his sisters
now HE is the one grieving his friend
and wishes that he had the power to open that tomb
and call his friend back into his arms
he doesn’t understand why he gets to live
while Jesus had to die
Jesus was a great man
He loved everybody
He knew how to have a good time
He loved to laugh
he loved to dance
he loved to be around children
and the children just ADORED him
they’d climb all over him
and he’d just laugh
it seemed to do something for his spirit
I mean, sometimes he’d go off somewhere
inside of himself
a shadow seemed to cross his face
and he looked so sad
but when the children were there,
man, he was so full of joy
soaking up their adoration of him
and their absolute trust in him
It seemed to feed his spirit
It was beautiful to see
cause most people don’t give children the time of day
they’re just pests, you know
they’re always in the way, always underfoot
and they’re incredibly unpredictable
they’re liable to say anything
and they say what they think, what they feel
but Jesus seemed to love that about them
and he’d take them into his arms
no matter how dirty or snotty they happened to be
I don’t know why he had to die
one who was so full of life
one who was so kind
one who stuck up for the defenseless
one who spoke out for those who couldn’t speak out
for themselves
I don’t know why
Everyone with any brains knew he was innocent
he did nothing to deserve death
certainly not execution
as if he were nothing but a beast with no feeling
But nobody did anything
the crowds got out of control
good people turned into monsters
it was crazy
I mean, decent people, people that I’ve known for years
suddenly became barbarians
it was like something evil came over them
and they called for his blood
not just his death
but they wanted him to suffer
they wanted to watch him suffer
as if everything that hurt them
everything that made them mad
everything that was unfair
all that was taken out on him
It was madness
It felt like there was evil in the air
that you could breathe it
I couldn’t talk to people
that I was used to seeing every day
because they were different
they wanted SOMEONE, anyone,
to pay for all the injustices of the world
to pay for all their pain
to pay for all the things that haunted them at night
it was like everything horrible and broken
and evil inside of them
came out and they hurled it all at him
someone had to pay, someone always has to pay
for someone else’s evil
and it’s usually the most innocent
the most loving
the most pure souls
that have managed to survive this far
People who cringe when one of the neighborhood cats
attack and kill an innocent bird
don’t even flinch when they watch
those soldiers do unspeakable things
to those guys on the crosses
How have we become so numb to evil?
Why do we keep our mouths shut?
Why do we try not to notice
for the sake of keeping the peace?
Whose peace are we keeping?
I don’t get it at all
But Jesus did
he knew our hearts
he seemed to understand
what people are like, what they’re capable of
and yet, still,
he kept going, pushing just a little bit more
until they shut him up
made an example out of him
I don’t know,
but I have a feeling that this isn’t the end
that shutting him up won’t solve it
killing him, even with such cruelty
will not stop what he started
people loved him that much
But even facing our own capacity for evil
in the face of this innocent man
will not stop the evil from going on
I’m so afraid that we’ll keep killing
keep slaughtering the innocent
that we’ll turn away when the vulnerable are suffering
and pretend we don’t see
pretend we had nothing to do with it
until someone comes after us, of course
then we’ll care
I hope he didn’t die in vain
I hope the people who remember him
will try to carry on what he started
even if it kills them
even it gets them into trouble
even if keeps them out of public office
or in lousy jobs
I hope we can find it in us
that spark, that piece of us
that is like God,
like Jesus said
That the kingdom of God is within us
I hope we can find that inside of ourselves
and make it grow
I don’t know what happens next
it’d be easy to give in to despair
I don’t know what happens after we die
if anything
or if we’re just dead
Jesus talked about going on ahead
to prepare a place for us
but no one knows what that means
How can he do that if he’s dead?
Did he think that God would save him at the last minute?
Did he expect God to not forsake him?
Was he wrong about God?
Oh God, I hope he wasn’t wrong
I don’t know what he meant about feasting with us again
at the heavenly banquet
or coming back to us,
not leaving us orphaned
None of it makes sense right now
but I’m hoping that someday it will
right now, it feels hopeless
It feels like the other side has won
that we’ll just keep on suffering
we’ll just keep on seeing the politicians
rule the world
and use God to promote their own agenda
and keep the undesirables out of sight
I don’t know what to think
I just know that I loved him
I loved him so much it aches--
take that however you want --
I don’t even know what it means
but I loved him
and I don’t know what we’re going to do without him
how we’ll hope again
how we’ll recover
how we’ll go on
but I think he wanted us to
I think he wanted to keep on doing what he was doing
I don’t know how many of us
have what it takes
none of us want to die
none of us want to get in trouble
none of us want to stir anything up
we all want everyone to like us
but things just can’t go on like this
he wanted to make a difference
he wanted to change the world
and I think he wanted us to keep trying
I will
I will pray to God
even though I don’t know if he still cares
or even God has given up on all of us
I will still pray
I will remember Jesus
and I will press on
I’m not sure how we’ll keep going
but maybe we’ll find strength in each other
and in our love for Jesus
Maybe somehow we’ll find that piece of God
in ourselves
and make Jesus proud
wherever he is
whether we ever get to see him again or not
he gave us reason to keep breathing
and so we will
and trust that God will not forsake us too
Friday, March 21, 2008
Why Do They Call it Good?
Today is what they call Good Friday. I know all the pious answers to why we call it Good, but it still doesn't resonate with me. To me, Good Friday is the inevitable Bad Day you have to go through to get to Resurrection. This year I didn't want this day to come. Normally, it's my favorite time of the Church Year, the most powerful. I pour everything into it, dive right in as deep as I can go, only to come up splashing through the surface of Easter.
Then I collapse and take a nap.
But this year, it's harder to face this so-called Good Friday. I hate death. I'm not going to kid you. I hate death. I've seen it many times, in my profession. I've been there to pray with the dying, many of whom I didn't know before that moment. I was called in to "pray them out", as if my prayers would somehow get the door open for them. I don't like that responsibility, I think anyone's prayers would work, but I understand that in those moments people need to feel like someone is ok with what's going on and level-headed.
This year changed everything. I saw too many dear friends die. Some were old and full of years, and yet it was no less heartbreaking to see them go. Some I knew better than others. I also had to preside over the funeral of one who took his own life, and in the midst of all the darkness of this past year, that was almost too much to take. But we got through it.
A year ago my friend Karen was doing whatever she normally did in March. Maybe she'd gone for a walk with her husband and listened to the Sandhill Cranes that stop by to say hello every year in the skies surrounding her home. She loved this time of year, and reveled in it. Life was good. She'd putz around the house, doing a sewing project in her full-to-bursting sewing room, or play Spider Solitaire on her computer and keep her eye on her husband who was putzing around in the yard outside her window. Occasionally she'd knock on the window and signal him to do this or that. She hated to lose at Spider Solitaire, she'd keep at it until she got it. There was no reason not to win.
Maybe she was planning a weekend with her daughter, maybe she and her husband were in the van on their way out west to be with her daughter, whose husband was in Iraq. The grandkids would wear her out, but you could tell it was in a way that she relished. She adored them. But she was ready for a rest when it was time to head East again. If she didn't head out west that weekend, they'd work around the house. They'd go to church on Sunday in their jeans and Birkenstocks, mabye they were ushers that Sunday. She always seemed to enjoy herself wherever she was, and it was contagious. People tended to enjoy themselves when Karen was in the room.
So it doesn't make sense, that a year ago, she was her usual, joyful, carefree self. No storms on the horizon, nothing clouding her field of vision. It was in July. I'd had a tough first six months of the year with funerals, even had one on my birthday, and I was desperate to get out of town. We only went to Ft. Kearney, not that far, but it was far enough away to pitch our tent and listen to the stillness. I remember I'd walked the river walk, on the wooden bridge, and had a peaceful time alone. I needed peace. I needed to refuel. I only had a couple of days, and Larry still went to work, but I took what I could, thinking that surely it would get better. Things would calm down.
That night, as Larry was cooking supper on the grill, and we'd built a campfire, a person from church stopped by. She'd been to the sewing group that morning, and told me the news that would begin a very long, heartbreaking journey. Karen had a mass on her pancreas. Karen? Did I hear her right? On her pancreas. I knew that "mass" and "pancreas" in the same sentence wasn't good at all, but Karen? Surely there was some way to alter what I heard. Somehow, certainly, I'd go home and find out it was a nasty, cruel rumor.
It wasn't.
This time, it was personal.
The cancer, we later learned, was Stage 4. Not good. Days and weeks unfolded. There were constant updates, emails, hugs at church. Karen acting as if she wasn't sick at all, which helped us believe that maybe it wasn't true after all. About August, as I began to realize that I was on a journey with her that could not end happily, I flat out told God, "I can't watch her get sick and die." I didn't think I had it in me. Even if I hadn't had a deadly first six months of funerals, even if I hadn't been at the bedside of too many people, praying them home. I couldn't do it.
Those last few months of her life was like one long, "Good" Friday. But it certainly didn't FEEL good. All of October, I went to the hospital every day, even on my day off. Sometimes I went twice a day. I was scared. It was one thing to have that "professional distance," but now I had to face death head on, stare it clear in the face as it came to claim my dear friend. I was really angry. Same old question, same old lack of answers. Why do good people die early and some real jerks live forever? God took a lot of heat during those weeks. Not that I blamed God, but who else did I have to yell at? I knew that God didn't do this. Cancer happens. Excrement Happens.
Some days Karen was very alert and energetic, ready for a long visit. Other days, she told me when I got there that we'd keep it short that day, as she was so tired. But she never turned me away. Some days she was snowed by morphine, so much so that she made no sense whatsoever, and those days I just sat and held her hand. We talked about dying, which did not feel comfortable to me at first. That somehow made it real, inevitable. I had a hard time facing the inevitability of her death. Every day I went to see her, we prayed. We hugged (which isn't easy when one of the persons hugging is laying down!) I'd leave her room, turn the corner of 4 South in the hospital, and then I'd cry. I'd cry all the way to the parking lot. Sometimes I put on my sunglasses to hide my face. Other times I didn't care. We were in a hospital-- tears were not unusual in such a place. I'd sit in my car until the tears subsided and I was spent. I'd wipe my face, blow my nose, and go home. Usually I had to take a nap before I could do anything else. Loving Karen through those days took every ounce of energy I had. Maybe because I was holding on so tight, even as I felt her slipping away. But I couldn't help it. It wasn't fair.
She went home to hospice. I was there when the hospice team came in to explain everything, and Karen turned to me, pointed me in the face and said, "Now, don't you be sad!!" Yet her own expression betrayed her.
Her bed was by the window, where she could look out on the lake, with all the wildlife visible to her. We talked a lot, most days, about our lives, about dying, what she would miss. Her sunroom became holy ground for me. Her husband always made me a cup of tea, and I pulled up a chair beside her bed as I drank it. I held her hand with my other hand until both got sweaty and we had to wipe them off on the bedsheets. We laughed sometimes, because that's what Karen liked to do. But God was there. Giving me the strength to face this, giving me the strength to pray for her-- I could sense the presence of Christ surrounding us. I think I was more scared than she was, but somehow she gained some strength from me.
She wasn't eating much in those last weeks. She tried a bite of jello here and there, but nothing tasted good. I fed her a popcicle one day. Some days I fed her ice chips. There's nothing much more intimate than feeding someone, even if it's only ice. The hospice nurses told her husband where to get a certain kind of ice pellets, and whenever I go to Taco John's, I think of Karen as I get my drink and get ice pellets in my cup, similar to the ones I fed her by hand. I adjusted the blankets around her feet-- she hated to have her feet covered; she said she was born with "hot feet." That last week, she threw up a lot; ugly green stuff. She was miserable. She'd double up in pain and all I could do was stroke her leg, her head and wince with helplessness. Sometimes she held onto my hand so tight I thought she was going to burst a blood vessel. I held her barf bin, and wiped her mouth after each episode, trying not to gag myself. She looked up at me once between retches and said, "Now you know what your husband does every day." Even in the midst of that, she was able to find humor.
I got the call one Tuesday afternoon. A hospice nurse called me and said it was time to come. She asked if I was ok being alone with Karen and her husband, and for some reason, I felt sure that I would be, that I had to be, that that's how it was supposed to be. I sat by her bed, holding her hand as she struggled for breath, groaing occasionally. I hand-fed her ice pellets, putting them in the corner of her mouth. I cried freely, telling her it was ok. I sang to her. I told her to save me a place near her. I thanked her for her life. It was like I was a different person, somehow all fear was suspended, all thought of fear was suspended in those moments. At some point, her breathing changed. She breathed more slowly, like a series of sighs, and I knew we were close to the end. Her husband sat beside her, and I sat at her feet, stroking her leg. We cried, I prayed, as her breathing continued to slow. Within minutes, she let out one long, deep sigh, and stopped breathing. It was like time was suspended, and everything, the whole world, held it's breath. Peace. "Is she gone?" her husband said, feeling for her heartbeat. "I think so," I said, feeling for her pulse. It was so quiet, so peaceful, so.... ok. I felt embraced and held by something unseen. We were all ok. Our hearts broke, but we were ok.
It's been almost 4 months since that night. Today is Good Friday. The day never felt so personal. I'm a little reluctant to reach into the darkness tonight and face the horror, the darkness of Jesus' violent death, as my heart is burned with images of my dear friend as she lay dying; her body small in the bed, lessened by disease, worn out with pain and that relentless demon Cancer. I will think of her tonight, and I will ache, I know. I will ache again at the darkness of death, the seeming cruelty of it when it comes way too soon and with suffering. But I will reach into that darkness, knowing that I must, if I am to wake on Easter morning with the hope and the power and the music and the chance to begin again. And I will think of her then, too. I will be intoxicated by the aroma of Easter lilies, jolted by the power of the church organ bursting out the hymn, "Christ the Lord is Risen Today," and I will remember that Karen, too, is risen. I will trust, I will believe. And I will reach into the emptiness of that ancient tomb and rejoice. I will try to remember that Death has no victory, though I do still feel its sting....
Then I collapse and take a nap.
But this year, it's harder to face this so-called Good Friday. I hate death. I'm not going to kid you. I hate death. I've seen it many times, in my profession. I've been there to pray with the dying, many of whom I didn't know before that moment. I was called in to "pray them out", as if my prayers would somehow get the door open for them. I don't like that responsibility, I think anyone's prayers would work, but I understand that in those moments people need to feel like someone is ok with what's going on and level-headed.
This year changed everything. I saw too many dear friends die. Some were old and full of years, and yet it was no less heartbreaking to see them go. Some I knew better than others. I also had to preside over the funeral of one who took his own life, and in the midst of all the darkness of this past year, that was almost too much to take. But we got through it.
A year ago my friend Karen was doing whatever she normally did in March. Maybe she'd gone for a walk with her husband and listened to the Sandhill Cranes that stop by to say hello every year in the skies surrounding her home. She loved this time of year, and reveled in it. Life was good. She'd putz around the house, doing a sewing project in her full-to-bursting sewing room, or play Spider Solitaire on her computer and keep her eye on her husband who was putzing around in the yard outside her window. Occasionally she'd knock on the window and signal him to do this or that. She hated to lose at Spider Solitaire, she'd keep at it until she got it. There was no reason not to win.
Maybe she was planning a weekend with her daughter, maybe she and her husband were in the van on their way out west to be with her daughter, whose husband was in Iraq. The grandkids would wear her out, but you could tell it was in a way that she relished. She adored them. But she was ready for a rest when it was time to head East again. If she didn't head out west that weekend, they'd work around the house. They'd go to church on Sunday in their jeans and Birkenstocks, mabye they were ushers that Sunday. She always seemed to enjoy herself wherever she was, and it was contagious. People tended to enjoy themselves when Karen was in the room.
So it doesn't make sense, that a year ago, she was her usual, joyful, carefree self. No storms on the horizon, nothing clouding her field of vision. It was in July. I'd had a tough first six months of the year with funerals, even had one on my birthday, and I was desperate to get out of town. We only went to Ft. Kearney, not that far, but it was far enough away to pitch our tent and listen to the stillness. I remember I'd walked the river walk, on the wooden bridge, and had a peaceful time alone. I needed peace. I needed to refuel. I only had a couple of days, and Larry still went to work, but I took what I could, thinking that surely it would get better. Things would calm down.
That night, as Larry was cooking supper on the grill, and we'd built a campfire, a person from church stopped by. She'd been to the sewing group that morning, and told me the news that would begin a very long, heartbreaking journey. Karen had a mass on her pancreas. Karen? Did I hear her right? On her pancreas. I knew that "mass" and "pancreas" in the same sentence wasn't good at all, but Karen? Surely there was some way to alter what I heard. Somehow, certainly, I'd go home and find out it was a nasty, cruel rumor.
It wasn't.
This time, it was personal.
The cancer, we later learned, was Stage 4. Not good. Days and weeks unfolded. There were constant updates, emails, hugs at church. Karen acting as if she wasn't sick at all, which helped us believe that maybe it wasn't true after all. About August, as I began to realize that I was on a journey with her that could not end happily, I flat out told God, "I can't watch her get sick and die." I didn't think I had it in me. Even if I hadn't had a deadly first six months of funerals, even if I hadn't been at the bedside of too many people, praying them home. I couldn't do it.
Those last few months of her life was like one long, "Good" Friday. But it certainly didn't FEEL good. All of October, I went to the hospital every day, even on my day off. Sometimes I went twice a day. I was scared. It was one thing to have that "professional distance," but now I had to face death head on, stare it clear in the face as it came to claim my dear friend. I was really angry. Same old question, same old lack of answers. Why do good people die early and some real jerks live forever? God took a lot of heat during those weeks. Not that I blamed God, but who else did I have to yell at? I knew that God didn't do this. Cancer happens. Excrement Happens.
Some days Karen was very alert and energetic, ready for a long visit. Other days, she told me when I got there that we'd keep it short that day, as she was so tired. But she never turned me away. Some days she was snowed by morphine, so much so that she made no sense whatsoever, and those days I just sat and held her hand. We talked about dying, which did not feel comfortable to me at first. That somehow made it real, inevitable. I had a hard time facing the inevitability of her death. Every day I went to see her, we prayed. We hugged (which isn't easy when one of the persons hugging is laying down!) I'd leave her room, turn the corner of 4 South in the hospital, and then I'd cry. I'd cry all the way to the parking lot. Sometimes I put on my sunglasses to hide my face. Other times I didn't care. We were in a hospital-- tears were not unusual in such a place. I'd sit in my car until the tears subsided and I was spent. I'd wipe my face, blow my nose, and go home. Usually I had to take a nap before I could do anything else. Loving Karen through those days took every ounce of energy I had. Maybe because I was holding on so tight, even as I felt her slipping away. But I couldn't help it. It wasn't fair.
She went home to hospice. I was there when the hospice team came in to explain everything, and Karen turned to me, pointed me in the face and said, "Now, don't you be sad!!" Yet her own expression betrayed her.
Her bed was by the window, where she could look out on the lake, with all the wildlife visible to her. We talked a lot, most days, about our lives, about dying, what she would miss. Her sunroom became holy ground for me. Her husband always made me a cup of tea, and I pulled up a chair beside her bed as I drank it. I held her hand with my other hand until both got sweaty and we had to wipe them off on the bedsheets. We laughed sometimes, because that's what Karen liked to do. But God was there. Giving me the strength to face this, giving me the strength to pray for her-- I could sense the presence of Christ surrounding us. I think I was more scared than she was, but somehow she gained some strength from me.
She wasn't eating much in those last weeks. She tried a bite of jello here and there, but nothing tasted good. I fed her a popcicle one day. Some days I fed her ice chips. There's nothing much more intimate than feeding someone, even if it's only ice. The hospice nurses told her husband where to get a certain kind of ice pellets, and whenever I go to Taco John's, I think of Karen as I get my drink and get ice pellets in my cup, similar to the ones I fed her by hand. I adjusted the blankets around her feet-- she hated to have her feet covered; she said she was born with "hot feet." That last week, she threw up a lot; ugly green stuff. She was miserable. She'd double up in pain and all I could do was stroke her leg, her head and wince with helplessness. Sometimes she held onto my hand so tight I thought she was going to burst a blood vessel. I held her barf bin, and wiped her mouth after each episode, trying not to gag myself. She looked up at me once between retches and said, "Now you know what your husband does every day." Even in the midst of that, she was able to find humor.
I got the call one Tuesday afternoon. A hospice nurse called me and said it was time to come. She asked if I was ok being alone with Karen and her husband, and for some reason, I felt sure that I would be, that I had to be, that that's how it was supposed to be. I sat by her bed, holding her hand as she struggled for breath, groaing occasionally. I hand-fed her ice pellets, putting them in the corner of her mouth. I cried freely, telling her it was ok. I sang to her. I told her to save me a place near her. I thanked her for her life. It was like I was a different person, somehow all fear was suspended, all thought of fear was suspended in those moments. At some point, her breathing changed. She breathed more slowly, like a series of sighs, and I knew we were close to the end. Her husband sat beside her, and I sat at her feet, stroking her leg. We cried, I prayed, as her breathing continued to slow. Within minutes, she let out one long, deep sigh, and stopped breathing. It was like time was suspended, and everything, the whole world, held it's breath. Peace. "Is she gone?" her husband said, feeling for her heartbeat. "I think so," I said, feeling for her pulse. It was so quiet, so peaceful, so.... ok. I felt embraced and held by something unseen. We were all ok. Our hearts broke, but we were ok.
It's been almost 4 months since that night. Today is Good Friday. The day never felt so personal. I'm a little reluctant to reach into the darkness tonight and face the horror, the darkness of Jesus' violent death, as my heart is burned with images of my dear friend as she lay dying; her body small in the bed, lessened by disease, worn out with pain and that relentless demon Cancer. I will think of her tonight, and I will ache, I know. I will ache again at the darkness of death, the seeming cruelty of it when it comes way too soon and with suffering. But I will reach into that darkness, knowing that I must, if I am to wake on Easter morning with the hope and the power and the music and the chance to begin again. And I will think of her then, too. I will be intoxicated by the aroma of Easter lilies, jolted by the power of the church organ bursting out the hymn, "Christ the Lord is Risen Today," and I will remember that Karen, too, is risen. I will trust, I will believe. And I will reach into the emptiness of that ancient tomb and rejoice. I will try to remember that Death has no victory, though I do still feel its sting....
Thursday, March 20, 2008
On the night he was betrayed....
“REMEMBER”
John 13:1-17, 34-35
Faith United - Holy Thursday
March 20, 2008
They had absolutely no idea what was about to happen
How could they?
Do you ever look back
after something terrible has happened
and think, ‘if I’d only known’?
If I’d only known…what?
I would have paid more attention?
I would have said “I love you”
I would have appreciated them more …?
The truth is,
even if we had known
it never would have been enough
there would always be more that we could have done
The friends of Jesus
didn’t know the significance of this night,
Jesus bore that burden alone
He alone felt the weight of the coming storm
he watched his friends at the table
laughing, eating,
kidding each other
energized by the celebration of Passover
a traditional meal, shared by intimate friends
He watched them laugh
he loved them, just looking at them
they had no idea that their world was about to fall apart
and it pained him to realize that
He prayed that later they would remember this night
that they would remember what he did and said
that after the shock and grief had lessened
the images of this night would comfort them
strengthen them
give them resolve
but most of all, remind them
of how much he really did love them
Jesus must have felt the weight bearing down on him
a couple of times, perhaps, he got tears in his eyes
Finally, taking one long look around the table
He pushed himself up from the floor
Without a word,
he took off his outer robe
and put on one of the servant’s aprons
Some of the men around the table glanced at him
with a questioning look
Still, he said nothing
He went over to the basin
and poured water into it from the large pitcher nearby
He quietly, wordlessly began to wash the feet
of his stunned friends
as they froze, staring at him
with a mixture of horror and embarrassment
When he got to Peter,
of course, Peter couldn’t just be quiet
“Master, YOU are washing MY feet??”
Talk about stating the obvious
Jesus smiled at his horrified friend,
noticing the blush coming up from the collar of his robe
and reddening his face
“Peter,” he said,
“You don’t understand now what I’m doing,
but it will be clear enough to you later…”
Jesus felt the catch in his throat
and swallowed
Peter pulled his feet out of Jesus’ hands, indignantly,
“You will NOT wash my feet—ever!”
Jesus said calmly,
“If I don’t wash you, you can’t be part of what I’m doing.”
Peter shoved his feet back into the water,
“not just my feet, then, but wash my hands!! My head!
` Whatever you want!”
Jesus smiled and continued washing his feet
he went about it slowly, deliberately, lovingly
sensing the tension in the room
caressing the feet of the ones he loved
and caring for each as if they were the only one
in the room
They thought it was just another Passover meal
they had no idea of the significance of the night
Only later, when they looked back
would it all be frozen in their memories--
That night it all started
the Thing they couldn’t stop
the Thing that just got out of control
out of their hands
and no matter what they did
they couldn’t fix it
they couldn’t save him
they couldn’t stop the madness, the horror
but for now, they were delightfully oblivious,
reclining comfortably, with freshly washed feet
It was crazy,
they’d think back later,
wasn’t Judas there?
Yes, of course he was there,
they were all there
Did Jesus wash Judas’ feet?
He MUST have, they couldn’t remember
but he must have,
because Judas was reclining to the right of Jesus
the place of honor
reserved for the best friend, the honored guest
Judas would have been either the first or last
to be washed
but they couldn’t remember
If only they’d known THEN
what they know now…
WHAT? What could they have done?
And if Jesus knew, as he must have
yes, now they remember, of course he knew
he told them one of them would betray him
the one who received the bread from his hand
He KNEW
If he knew, why did he wash Judas feet?
Why did he do such a loving, tender thing
to the one who would hand over his life
to the enemies?
Oh God
They didn’t know
They couldn’t have known
what that night would bring
how their lives were about to change
their hearts about to be crushed
But they did remember what he said--
the whole point of his acting like a slave in their presence
kneeling at their feet
as if he were a mere woman, a mere slave
“Love one another,” he said,
his eyes glistening with tears
and yet he smiled
He took the hands of those on each side of him—
Judas had left by then—
“Do it for me….
if for no other reason, do it for me
Love one another.
In the same way I have loved you,
love each other, that way people will know who you are
who you belong to,
who guides your life and your heart…”
The disciples squirmed a bit
They may have looked at each other,
love him??
I mean, yeah, I love him, but I mean…
you want me to do what you just did, Jesus?
Get down on my knees
lay my heart wide open
to my friends, to others
just so they crush it?
So I can look like a fool?
Act like a slave to my friend? My colleague?
Please don’t ask that of me….
Love one another, Jesus said, emphatically,
the night before he would die--
these were some of his last words
and so they would be burned on the hearts
of those he left behind
Love one another
But here we are,
what does it mean?
I mean, shoot, you’re not going to catch US
washing each other’s feet!
Certainly he didn’t mean that LITERALLY
it was a metaphor, right?
What does this have to do with us?
The ritual of footwashing
is so foreign to us,
kind of weird, even, if you think about it
So how do we receive this command?
To love one another
for Jesus’ sake?
We really have a screwed up image of love in our society;
the word, the idea itself
is so abused, so misunderstood
so shallow
In our world, we confuse love with sex
It’s crazy-- on the one hand,
nothing is personal anymore
everything is fair game to the media
people’s most intimate secrets
spread across the internet
nothing is personal and private
and yet at the same time,
we seem so terrified of intimacy
Again, we confuse intimacy with sex
and if your only education is TV, the internet and the media
than you can live believing that love is shallow
love is empty, and love doesn’t last
We are really confused about love
What Jesus did that night for his friends
was to offer them a very physical, intimate expression of love
He didn’t just tell them he loved them,
he acted it out
Probably made them really nervous
Jesus, don’t do that!
Don’t wash my feet, I mean c’mon, get up off the floor
you’re embarrassing me,
what are the other guys gonna think?
You will NOT wash my feet! Peter said
pretty emphatically
The feet are a pretty vulnerable part of our body
they’re not the most attractive
they’re awkward, sometimes bony
our toes look kind of funny
we might have callouses or corns,
all in all, feet can be pretty ugly
We don’t want to bare our feet to just anybody
much less let them take them in their hands
I mean, talk about personal!
You will not wash me, Jesus,
and Peter pulled his big ugly feet out of Jesus hands
YOU WILL NOT LOVE ME….
We’re funny about physical touch in our society
and sometimes it's for horribly good reasons --
people have betrayed other people;
the innocent, the trusting--
and yet we’re left awkwardly not knowing
how to love one another
Yet I believe, at the same time,
we’re all starving to be loved
to be cherished, to be held
All in a world that is so terrified of the personal
and the vulnerable
Bernie Siegl, a doctor who works for a cancer institute in New York,
once wrote that psychologists have shown that the effects
of love on the body can be measured:
an unloved infant will have retarded bone growth,
and may even die;
while an infant that is stroked and caressed
will actually grow faster
A lot of things in this world
can kill the body
but nothing kills our spirit worse than a lack of love
Jesus took a deep breath,
“love one another.
I’ve laid down a pattern for you
What I’ve done, you do.
I’m only pointing out the obvious
A servant is not ranked above his master,
an employee doesn’t give orders to the employer
If you understand what I’m telling you,
ACT LIKE IT—
and live a blessed life.”
They must have smiled awkwardly
their feet still tingling from his touch
The lesson wouldn’t sink in, however,
until much later
when they looked back
and saw it all through the lens of what happened next
He broke the news to them,
“I am with you only for a short time longer,” he said
as if to emphasize the importance
but their minds were reeling,
where’s he going?
why can’t we come?
what do you mean you’re leaving?
how can you leave us?
Only later would they realize the power of the moment
Judas had just left--
they would later discover
that he’d gone to the authorities
and ratted Jesus out
basically handed him over to die
and Jesus knew it
Also within 24 hours, Peter himself
would violently deny that he ever knew Jesus
that he had anything at all to do with him
And Jesus knew it
Yet even knowing that,
he looked at all of them and said,
“Love one another”
And only later would they realize
that he knew completely the cost of what he was asking of them
He knew
That to love is to open yourself up to pain
that to love puts you at risk for being made a fool
that to love lays you wide open
and risks having your heart broken, even crushed
as they would discover in mere hours
But, he’d told them
God is glorified when you love one another
when you lay yourself open to another
when you act as a servant to another
when you offer acts of mercy, compassion
When you embrace those
who don’t know what it’s like to be embraced without being exploited
when you care for those who don’t know
what it’s like to be loved for who they are
when you gently touch someone
who has only known painful, even violent touch
God is glorified in that moment
when true love is shared
when your heart is laid bare
even when your heart is broken by love
Later when he broke the bread
and passed it around,
he would tell them to remember
Remember HIM, remember what he said
remember this night
remember who he was while he was among them
remember how he loved them
and to do the same for each other
Remember me, he said
Remember me by loving each other
When you love, you will glorify me
and make me present and alive among you once again
if you hurt each other, if you hate each other
if you abuse or abandon each other
if you shrink from love
because it costs too much
you are forgetting me,
forgetting my life, forgetting who I am and why I came
Forgetting me, Jesus may have said, is a betrayal of me
perhaps the worst kind
If you understand what I am telling you, Jesus said,
ACT LIKE IT… and live a blessed life
It would be hard
when everything fell apart later that night
when it seemed like God was silent
and abandoned them all, even Jesus
it would be hard to remember
but they would anyway
not right away
they had a long road ahead of them
their hearts would be crushed
they would wonder why they ever believed
why they ever opened themselves up to such pain
but one day it would all make sense
they would remember
and from then on, they would live the rest of their lives
remembering
“Love one another,” Jesus said
“If you love me, then do what I tell you.
that’s the greatest gift you can give me
the best way to honor my life
and to share it….
Love one another, the same way I have loved you
This is how everyone will recognize who you are
and what I am in your life:
if you love one another.”
They couldn’t have known what they were about to face
If they did, they would have sworn they would never recover
but they did
and they started a revolution that changed the world --
all because of Jesus
all because of Love.
John 13:1-17, 34-35
Faith United - Holy Thursday
March 20, 2008
They had absolutely no idea what was about to happen
How could they?
Do you ever look back
after something terrible has happened
and think, ‘if I’d only known’?
If I’d only known…what?
I would have paid more attention?
I would have said “I love you”
I would have appreciated them more …?
The truth is,
even if we had known
it never would have been enough
there would always be more that we could have done
The friends of Jesus
didn’t know the significance of this night,
Jesus bore that burden alone
He alone felt the weight of the coming storm
he watched his friends at the table
laughing, eating,
kidding each other
energized by the celebration of Passover
a traditional meal, shared by intimate friends
He watched them laugh
he loved them, just looking at them
they had no idea that their world was about to fall apart
and it pained him to realize that
He prayed that later they would remember this night
that they would remember what he did and said
that after the shock and grief had lessened
the images of this night would comfort them
strengthen them
give them resolve
but most of all, remind them
of how much he really did love them
Jesus must have felt the weight bearing down on him
a couple of times, perhaps, he got tears in his eyes
Finally, taking one long look around the table
He pushed himself up from the floor
Without a word,
he took off his outer robe
and put on one of the servant’s aprons
Some of the men around the table glanced at him
with a questioning look
Still, he said nothing
He went over to the basin
and poured water into it from the large pitcher nearby
He quietly, wordlessly began to wash the feet
of his stunned friends
as they froze, staring at him
with a mixture of horror and embarrassment
When he got to Peter,
of course, Peter couldn’t just be quiet
“Master, YOU are washing MY feet??”
Talk about stating the obvious
Jesus smiled at his horrified friend,
noticing the blush coming up from the collar of his robe
and reddening his face
“Peter,” he said,
“You don’t understand now what I’m doing,
but it will be clear enough to you later…”
Jesus felt the catch in his throat
and swallowed
Peter pulled his feet out of Jesus’ hands, indignantly,
“You will NOT wash my feet—ever!”
Jesus said calmly,
“If I don’t wash you, you can’t be part of what I’m doing.”
Peter shoved his feet back into the water,
“not just my feet, then, but wash my hands!! My head!
` Whatever you want!”
Jesus smiled and continued washing his feet
he went about it slowly, deliberately, lovingly
sensing the tension in the room
caressing the feet of the ones he loved
and caring for each as if they were the only one
in the room
They thought it was just another Passover meal
they had no idea of the significance of the night
Only later, when they looked back
would it all be frozen in their memories--
That night it all started
the Thing they couldn’t stop
the Thing that just got out of control
out of their hands
and no matter what they did
they couldn’t fix it
they couldn’t save him
they couldn’t stop the madness, the horror
but for now, they were delightfully oblivious,
reclining comfortably, with freshly washed feet
It was crazy,
they’d think back later,
wasn’t Judas there?
Yes, of course he was there,
they were all there
Did Jesus wash Judas’ feet?
He MUST have, they couldn’t remember
but he must have,
because Judas was reclining to the right of Jesus
the place of honor
reserved for the best friend, the honored guest
Judas would have been either the first or last
to be washed
but they couldn’t remember
If only they’d known THEN
what they know now…
WHAT? What could they have done?
And if Jesus knew, as he must have
yes, now they remember, of course he knew
he told them one of them would betray him
the one who received the bread from his hand
He KNEW
If he knew, why did he wash Judas feet?
Why did he do such a loving, tender thing
to the one who would hand over his life
to the enemies?
Oh God
They didn’t know
They couldn’t have known
what that night would bring
how their lives were about to change
their hearts about to be crushed
But they did remember what he said--
the whole point of his acting like a slave in their presence
kneeling at their feet
as if he were a mere woman, a mere slave
“Love one another,” he said,
his eyes glistening with tears
and yet he smiled
He took the hands of those on each side of him—
Judas had left by then—
“Do it for me….
if for no other reason, do it for me
Love one another.
In the same way I have loved you,
love each other, that way people will know who you are
who you belong to,
who guides your life and your heart…”
The disciples squirmed a bit
They may have looked at each other,
love him??
I mean, yeah, I love him, but I mean…
you want me to do what you just did, Jesus?
Get down on my knees
lay my heart wide open
to my friends, to others
just so they crush it?
So I can look like a fool?
Act like a slave to my friend? My colleague?
Please don’t ask that of me….
Love one another, Jesus said, emphatically,
the night before he would die--
these were some of his last words
and so they would be burned on the hearts
of those he left behind
Love one another
But here we are,
what does it mean?
I mean, shoot, you’re not going to catch US
washing each other’s feet!
Certainly he didn’t mean that LITERALLY
it was a metaphor, right?
What does this have to do with us?
The ritual of footwashing
is so foreign to us,
kind of weird, even, if you think about it
So how do we receive this command?
To love one another
for Jesus’ sake?
We really have a screwed up image of love in our society;
the word, the idea itself
is so abused, so misunderstood
so shallow
In our world, we confuse love with sex
It’s crazy-- on the one hand,
nothing is personal anymore
everything is fair game to the media
people’s most intimate secrets
spread across the internet
nothing is personal and private
and yet at the same time,
we seem so terrified of intimacy
Again, we confuse intimacy with sex
and if your only education is TV, the internet and the media
than you can live believing that love is shallow
love is empty, and love doesn’t last
We are really confused about love
What Jesus did that night for his friends
was to offer them a very physical, intimate expression of love
He didn’t just tell them he loved them,
he acted it out
Probably made them really nervous
Jesus, don’t do that!
Don’t wash my feet, I mean c’mon, get up off the floor
you’re embarrassing me,
what are the other guys gonna think?
You will NOT wash my feet! Peter said
pretty emphatically
The feet are a pretty vulnerable part of our body
they’re not the most attractive
they’re awkward, sometimes bony
our toes look kind of funny
we might have callouses or corns,
all in all, feet can be pretty ugly
We don’t want to bare our feet to just anybody
much less let them take them in their hands
I mean, talk about personal!
You will not wash me, Jesus,
and Peter pulled his big ugly feet out of Jesus hands
YOU WILL NOT LOVE ME….
We’re funny about physical touch in our society
and sometimes it's for horribly good reasons --
people have betrayed other people;
the innocent, the trusting--
and yet we’re left awkwardly not knowing
how to love one another
Yet I believe, at the same time,
we’re all starving to be loved
to be cherished, to be held
All in a world that is so terrified of the personal
and the vulnerable
Bernie Siegl, a doctor who works for a cancer institute in New York,
once wrote that psychologists have shown that the effects
of love on the body can be measured:
an unloved infant will have retarded bone growth,
and may even die;
while an infant that is stroked and caressed
will actually grow faster
A lot of things in this world
can kill the body
but nothing kills our spirit worse than a lack of love
Jesus took a deep breath,
“love one another.
I’ve laid down a pattern for you
What I’ve done, you do.
I’m only pointing out the obvious
A servant is not ranked above his master,
an employee doesn’t give orders to the employer
If you understand what I’m telling you,
ACT LIKE IT—
and live a blessed life.”
They must have smiled awkwardly
their feet still tingling from his touch
The lesson wouldn’t sink in, however,
until much later
when they looked back
and saw it all through the lens of what happened next
He broke the news to them,
“I am with you only for a short time longer,” he said
as if to emphasize the importance
but their minds were reeling,
where’s he going?
why can’t we come?
what do you mean you’re leaving?
how can you leave us?
Only later would they realize the power of the moment
Judas had just left--
they would later discover
that he’d gone to the authorities
and ratted Jesus out
basically handed him over to die
and Jesus knew it
Also within 24 hours, Peter himself
would violently deny that he ever knew Jesus
that he had anything at all to do with him
And Jesus knew it
Yet even knowing that,
he looked at all of them and said,
“Love one another”
And only later would they realize
that he knew completely the cost of what he was asking of them
He knew
That to love is to open yourself up to pain
that to love puts you at risk for being made a fool
that to love lays you wide open
and risks having your heart broken, even crushed
as they would discover in mere hours
But, he’d told them
God is glorified when you love one another
when you lay yourself open to another
when you act as a servant to another
when you offer acts of mercy, compassion
When you embrace those
who don’t know what it’s like to be embraced without being exploited
when you care for those who don’t know
what it’s like to be loved for who they are
when you gently touch someone
who has only known painful, even violent touch
God is glorified in that moment
when true love is shared
when your heart is laid bare
even when your heart is broken by love
Later when he broke the bread
and passed it around,
he would tell them to remember
Remember HIM, remember what he said
remember this night
remember who he was while he was among them
remember how he loved them
and to do the same for each other
Remember me, he said
Remember me by loving each other
When you love, you will glorify me
and make me present and alive among you once again
if you hurt each other, if you hate each other
if you abuse or abandon each other
if you shrink from love
because it costs too much
you are forgetting me,
forgetting my life, forgetting who I am and why I came
Forgetting me, Jesus may have said, is a betrayal of me
perhaps the worst kind
If you understand what I am telling you, Jesus said,
ACT LIKE IT… and live a blessed life
It would be hard
when everything fell apart later that night
when it seemed like God was silent
and abandoned them all, even Jesus
it would be hard to remember
but they would anyway
not right away
they had a long road ahead of them
their hearts would be crushed
they would wonder why they ever believed
why they ever opened themselves up to such pain
but one day it would all make sense
they would remember
and from then on, they would live the rest of their lives
remembering
“Love one another,” Jesus said
“If you love me, then do what I tell you.
that’s the greatest gift you can give me
the best way to honor my life
and to share it….
Love one another, the same way I have loved you
This is how everyone will recognize who you are
and what I am in your life:
if you love one another.”
They couldn’t have known what they were about to face
If they did, they would have sworn they would never recover
but they did
and they started a revolution that changed the world --
all because of Jesus
all because of Love.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Now I See
“I ONCE WAS BLIND”
John 9:1-41 (from the Message)
FAITH UNITED
March 2, 2008
It is dangerous to see things
that others can’t see
It’s not easy to be the person that has to point things out
to others so that they, too, can see them
Especially if it’s something unpleasant
Like the family member or friend
who sees that someone has a problem
that they need help
well, none of us like to be told that we need help,
even if we do
and anyone who would have the guts to point that out
is not the most popular person
Or when we are so sure of what we believe to be true
and someone else points out something else
that contradicts or challenges that point of view --
well, that ticks us off, doesn’t it?
Even if we suspect they’re right
it’s hard for us humans to admit
that maybe we didn’t see something as clearly
that we might actually be blind to something
Just try to tell a parent
that their beloved child is having problems at school
or needs some help in some area
or is responsible for something bad that happened
Not my kid!
Parents can be blind
Anybody can be blind
we see sometimes only what we choose to see
and sometimes we choose to NOT see
what is actually true
We all do it
It’s human nature
And don’t you hate it sometimes
when someone ELSE gets something good
that maybe you wanted?
It’s really hard to celebrate with them, isn’t it?
When I was in college, my roommate got engaged
to my ex-boyfriend
She wanted me to be excited for her
but it was really difficult
I ended up being a bridesmaid in the wedding
and the groom’s family all kind of joked with me,
‘so you’re the EX girlfriend, eh?’
It was really hard for me to celebrate with the bride and groom
Not that I WANTED the guy, mind you,
it was just humiliating….
so it was not a fun day for me
But isn’t it wonderful when something really great happens to you
or you get something you really wanted--
and I’m not talking an X box or Wii
or whatever the latest thing is --
I’m talking about when you get something REALLY good
like a good grade, or a part in the school play
or a trip you’ve always wanted to take
or some form of recognition
that makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something
The kind of stuff that lasts…
Doesn’t it feel wonderful when someone else
can truly, sincerely be excited FOR you?
When they can celebrate with you
and say, “whoa, good for you!”
Joy is much better when it’s shared
when someone loves us enough
to feel good when something good happens to US
Too often,
other people get jealous
or question how you even got it
or maybe even suggest that you don’t deserve it
That really stinks
They take something away from the event
with their jealousy
It’s hard, isn’t it, to celebrate someone ELSE’S good fortune?
Especially when you’re thinking of how their gain
is somehow indirectly YOUR loss…
We’re good at making things about us
when it has nothing at all to do with us
This story is crazy!!
But, unfortunately, realistic…
This poor guy-- we don’t even know his name --
just walking along, minding his own business
shuffling his way forward, perhaps using a stick
to help him find things that are in his path
He’s blind
He can’t see
He’s never been able to see
He’s never seen color
never seen the sunset
or sunrise
never seen the green of the trees or the blue of the skies
never looked into the eyes of another human being
and seen love or tears or laughter
He’s never seen the beauty of a little child playing
or dancing or giggling
He’s never looked on two people in love
walking together,
oblivious to the rest of the world
But he doesn’t know what he’s been missing
He did know that he couldn’t make a living
all that he could do was sit and beg
because that’s what blind men and women did back then
that’s all they could do
Just sit and hope that someone would have mercy on them
give them a bit of something to eat
a coin to get them by the next day
They were just a part of the scenery,
along with all the other beggars
who were beggars for various reasons
some of them through no fault of their own
except to be born with a handicap
“Teacher,” one of the disciples said casually,
“what happened there?” and he pointed to the blind man
trying to find his way
“Who’s at fault there? Who sinned?
Was it him or his parents who caused him to be blind?”
Jesus winced, I’m sure
We humans tend to think there MUST be a reason
for all the things that don’t make sense
in the world
We want to blame somebody or something
because if there’s just no good explanation
no clear cut reasoning
than maybe that means any of us
could fall victim to something terrible
and that’s just too frightening
It sounds like a stupid question on the part of the disciples
but we all do it, we all want to know
whose fault is it
when something bad happens?
What did my son or daughter do
to deserve getting killed in Iraq?
What did I do to make God so angry
that he could take someone that I love?
In the 80s, the Church had a way of dismissing
any need to address the AIDS epidemic
when some parts of the Church
believed that it was a punishment from God
against homosexuals
I hope we’ve gotten over that
Some people said that 9/11 happened
because of various sins in our country
and that GOD made 9/11 happen
as punishment for those sins
That God blew up those buildings….
It’s a way of trying to make sense
out of something that ultimately does not make sense
But we do want to blame somebody, don’t we?
“Who sinned, Jesus?
This boy or his parents??”
And Jesus, as I said, winced
Jesus refuted in that moment
that bad things happen to good people
because they’ve done something bad
Jesus refuted that suffering always happens
directly because of sin
Granted, sometimes it does
there are causes and effects in the world
We know if we smoke,
we are at risk for lung cancer
if we drink too much, we’re at risk
for alcoholism, liver problems
or major family problems
If we drive too fast
we may hit someone or hit a tree
There are natural causes and effects in the world
But there are also plenty of things that happen
that aren’t necessarily anyone’s fault
Jesus didn’t try to explain why an otherwise healthy young man
was born without the ability to see and therefore make a living
Instead, he said,
“why don’t you look at the good that can come out of this?”
And he invited the man over to him
Jesus spit in the dirt
and made some clay
and put it on the young man’s eyes
It was believed back then,
that saliva had medicinal purposes
(maybe that’s why Mom always gives us that dreaded spit-wash
that we always hated!)
After Jesus spread the clay over the man’s eyes,
he told him to go wash in the pool of Siloam
I don’t know how he got there
I’m hoping that someone else guided the blind man
to the pool
and helped him to the edge to wash his face
Meanwhile, Jesus and his disciples went on their way
While the man stooped toward the water to wash his face,
he leaned back to take a breath
and his eyes automatically fluttered open
Suddenly he saw blue above him
the brown of the dirt beneath his knees
the droplets of water falling off his face into the pool
he leaned over and saw his own reflection
his own look of surprise
he wiped the excess water off of his face
and any other traces of mud that was left
and he looked all around him
at the people, the children playing in the streets
some of them splashing in the water
the reflection of the sun off the water
and suddenly he had to shield his eyes
he kept blinking
as more and more came into focus
He looked at buildings, at plants,
at people, the things they wore, the expressions
on their faces
He got up and started walking
gingerly, at first, carefully
staring at everything in front of him
After awhile, some of his relatives
and others in the community
saw him
Then they looked away
but then they looked back
‘Wait a minute, isn’t that…
where’s his walking stick?
Why is walking, standing up straight
with no help?’
Where’s his bag
that he put all the coins in that people threw at him?
That IS him, isn’t it?
Naw, it just looks like him, others said
yeah, it IS him!
But how???
“Some guy put mud on my eyes, and told me to go wash,” the man said
After I did, I could see!” he shrugged
Where is this guy? they asked
“I don’t know….”
Nobody said, “Wow!”
Nobody said, “that’s amazing! that’s wonderful!!”
Nobody clapped him the back
or hugged him or playfully hit him in the arm
or held up three fingers to see if he could see them
Instead, they take him by the arm
and drag him to the religious authorities
The authorities collectively
raised one eyebrow and said to him,
tell us what happened
He told them
Well, he can’t be from God!!
Today’s the Sabbath,
he shouldn’t be making mud on the Sabbath!!
You gotta be kidding me
No, this man can’t be from God if he doesn’t keep the Sabbath
But how, others said,
how could a bad man do good things?
How could he do something miraculous,
something God-like, if he isn’t from God??
What do YOU say,
they said to the poor blind guy who unfortunately now
could see the nastiness in the faces around him
“I think he’s a prophet,” he said.
Well, what does HE know??
They bring in the parents, grill them
shove microphones in their faces
what do you think?
Is this your son?
Wasn’t he born blind?
the cameras flash
the reporters crowd in
Yes, yes, they say, he is our son
we don’t know why he can see,
why don’t you ask him?
‘Ah, we did ask him,
we didn’t like what he said!’
By the way, where is Jesus in all of this?
Gone
Moving on down the road
while this poor guy gets interrogated
I’ve always wondered,
why did he leave?
Why didn’t he stay with him
surely he knew this would happen!
Someone pokes the man in the shoulder, says
this Jesus is an imposter,
he can’t make the blind see,
he’s a fake, what are you trying to pull?
Before all this happened
before Jesus had come upon the man in the street
he’d just narrowly escaped having been killed
He said something about existing before even Abraham
and something confusing like that
and the religious people
picked up stones to throw at him
with the intent to kill him
Maybe that’s why he got lost after healing the blind man
knowing that he could get killed
The young man put up his hands,
“I’m not a scholar,
I don’t know all the religious language
or all the rules and regulations,
all I know is that I was blind,
and now I can see… that’s all”
yeah but, yeah but….
The man was ready to get on with his life
go take a bath
get some clean clothes
see what the rest of his life would look like
now that he could see
“Again, I don’t know anything else.
I don’t know much about God
but I do know that God listens to those
who do what is right
Have you ever heard of someone healing the blind?
of course not, it’s never been done
If this man isn’t from God,
I wouldn’t be looking you in the eye right now….”
You’re nothing but dirt, they said
because they couldn’t think of anything thing better to say
They threw him out
they excommunicated him
His only sin was being healed
touched by the hands of Jesus
and he was no longer allowed in the synagogue--
not that he would have allowed before
being a blind beggar
so really, it was no big loss to him
He was blind, and now he could see
After the religious people went away
Jesus showed up again
Of course, the man didn’t recognize him
because the last time Jesus was there
the man couldn’t see him
“Do you believe in the Son of Man?” Jesus said to him
Tell me who he is, I’ll believe
“You’re looking at him,” Jesus said, smiling
And those were very significant words
because the blind man had never looked at anybody before
I believe, he said
“I am the light of the world
I will up the darkness,” Jesus said,
“I will bring things to light that need to be out in the open
I will make things clearer for those who want to see
but those who THINK they can see
are fooling themselves,
and I will reveal them as blind…”
Turns out the religious folks hadn’t gotten too faraway…
they whirled around-- “what,” they said,
“are you saying we’re blind?”
Oh, these guys are smart!!
“If you think you can see,” Jesus said,
“then you are accountable for what you see and what you don’t see
And I think Jesus is saying,
that we can’t turn a blind eye to the world
and what’s going on
because we have been given eyes to see
We can’t pretend we are blind,
any more than we can pretend to see
when we don’t see at all…
“all I know,” said the blind man
is that once I was blind, but now I see…”
He knew who gave him life
he knew who it was that opened his eyes
and he would find, just as he did that day
that having your eyes opened is wonderful
but he would also have to see the ugly
that he’d never had to see before
but I bet he saw what the religious people didn’t see
He saw the blind beggars or the crippled beggars
on the side of the road--
and I bet he helped them
He saw all the ones that the religious people didn’t see
because they were blinded by their religion
But he’d had a powerful encounter with Jesus
and he didn’t know much
he didn’t know all the religious language
or where things were in the Scriptures
But he knew who saved his life
and that was enough
and he was committed, I bet, for the rest of his life
to keep his eyes open
and to share the grace and the life that he’d been given
at the hands of Jesus
John 9:1-41 (from the Message)
FAITH UNITED
March 2, 2008
It is dangerous to see things
that others can’t see
It’s not easy to be the person that has to point things out
to others so that they, too, can see them
Especially if it’s something unpleasant
Like the family member or friend
who sees that someone has a problem
that they need help
well, none of us like to be told that we need help,
even if we do
and anyone who would have the guts to point that out
is not the most popular person
Or when we are so sure of what we believe to be true
and someone else points out something else
that contradicts or challenges that point of view --
well, that ticks us off, doesn’t it?
Even if we suspect they’re right
it’s hard for us humans to admit
that maybe we didn’t see something as clearly
that we might actually be blind to something
Just try to tell a parent
that their beloved child is having problems at school
or needs some help in some area
or is responsible for something bad that happened
Not my kid!
Parents can be blind
Anybody can be blind
we see sometimes only what we choose to see
and sometimes we choose to NOT see
what is actually true
We all do it
It’s human nature
And don’t you hate it sometimes
when someone ELSE gets something good
that maybe you wanted?
It’s really hard to celebrate with them, isn’t it?
When I was in college, my roommate got engaged
to my ex-boyfriend
She wanted me to be excited for her
but it was really difficult
I ended up being a bridesmaid in the wedding
and the groom’s family all kind of joked with me,
‘so you’re the EX girlfriend, eh?’
It was really hard for me to celebrate with the bride and groom
Not that I WANTED the guy, mind you,
it was just humiliating….
so it was not a fun day for me
But isn’t it wonderful when something really great happens to you
or you get something you really wanted--
and I’m not talking an X box or Wii
or whatever the latest thing is --
I’m talking about when you get something REALLY good
like a good grade, or a part in the school play
or a trip you’ve always wanted to take
or some form of recognition
that makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something
The kind of stuff that lasts…
Doesn’t it feel wonderful when someone else
can truly, sincerely be excited FOR you?
When they can celebrate with you
and say, “whoa, good for you!”
Joy is much better when it’s shared
when someone loves us enough
to feel good when something good happens to US
Too often,
other people get jealous
or question how you even got it
or maybe even suggest that you don’t deserve it
That really stinks
They take something away from the event
with their jealousy
It’s hard, isn’t it, to celebrate someone ELSE’S good fortune?
Especially when you’re thinking of how their gain
is somehow indirectly YOUR loss…
We’re good at making things about us
when it has nothing at all to do with us
This story is crazy!!
But, unfortunately, realistic…
This poor guy-- we don’t even know his name --
just walking along, minding his own business
shuffling his way forward, perhaps using a stick
to help him find things that are in his path
He’s blind
He can’t see
He’s never been able to see
He’s never seen color
never seen the sunset
or sunrise
never seen the green of the trees or the blue of the skies
never looked into the eyes of another human being
and seen love or tears or laughter
He’s never seen the beauty of a little child playing
or dancing or giggling
He’s never looked on two people in love
walking together,
oblivious to the rest of the world
But he doesn’t know what he’s been missing
He did know that he couldn’t make a living
all that he could do was sit and beg
because that’s what blind men and women did back then
that’s all they could do
Just sit and hope that someone would have mercy on them
give them a bit of something to eat
a coin to get them by the next day
They were just a part of the scenery,
along with all the other beggars
who were beggars for various reasons
some of them through no fault of their own
except to be born with a handicap
“Teacher,” one of the disciples said casually,
“what happened there?” and he pointed to the blind man
trying to find his way
“Who’s at fault there? Who sinned?
Was it him or his parents who caused him to be blind?”
Jesus winced, I’m sure
We humans tend to think there MUST be a reason
for all the things that don’t make sense
in the world
We want to blame somebody or something
because if there’s just no good explanation
no clear cut reasoning
than maybe that means any of us
could fall victim to something terrible
and that’s just too frightening
It sounds like a stupid question on the part of the disciples
but we all do it, we all want to know
whose fault is it
when something bad happens?
What did my son or daughter do
to deserve getting killed in Iraq?
What did I do to make God so angry
that he could take someone that I love?
In the 80s, the Church had a way of dismissing
any need to address the AIDS epidemic
when some parts of the Church
believed that it was a punishment from God
against homosexuals
I hope we’ve gotten over that
Some people said that 9/11 happened
because of various sins in our country
and that GOD made 9/11 happen
as punishment for those sins
That God blew up those buildings….
It’s a way of trying to make sense
out of something that ultimately does not make sense
But we do want to blame somebody, don’t we?
“Who sinned, Jesus?
This boy or his parents??”
And Jesus, as I said, winced
Jesus refuted in that moment
that bad things happen to good people
because they’ve done something bad
Jesus refuted that suffering always happens
directly because of sin
Granted, sometimes it does
there are causes and effects in the world
We know if we smoke,
we are at risk for lung cancer
if we drink too much, we’re at risk
for alcoholism, liver problems
or major family problems
If we drive too fast
we may hit someone or hit a tree
There are natural causes and effects in the world
But there are also plenty of things that happen
that aren’t necessarily anyone’s fault
Jesus didn’t try to explain why an otherwise healthy young man
was born without the ability to see and therefore make a living
Instead, he said,
“why don’t you look at the good that can come out of this?”
And he invited the man over to him
Jesus spit in the dirt
and made some clay
and put it on the young man’s eyes
It was believed back then,
that saliva had medicinal purposes
(maybe that’s why Mom always gives us that dreaded spit-wash
that we always hated!)
After Jesus spread the clay over the man’s eyes,
he told him to go wash in the pool of Siloam
I don’t know how he got there
I’m hoping that someone else guided the blind man
to the pool
and helped him to the edge to wash his face
Meanwhile, Jesus and his disciples went on their way
While the man stooped toward the water to wash his face,
he leaned back to take a breath
and his eyes automatically fluttered open
Suddenly he saw blue above him
the brown of the dirt beneath his knees
the droplets of water falling off his face into the pool
he leaned over and saw his own reflection
his own look of surprise
he wiped the excess water off of his face
and any other traces of mud that was left
and he looked all around him
at the people, the children playing in the streets
some of them splashing in the water
the reflection of the sun off the water
and suddenly he had to shield his eyes
he kept blinking
as more and more came into focus
He looked at buildings, at plants,
at people, the things they wore, the expressions
on their faces
He got up and started walking
gingerly, at first, carefully
staring at everything in front of him
After awhile, some of his relatives
and others in the community
saw him
Then they looked away
but then they looked back
‘Wait a minute, isn’t that…
where’s his walking stick?
Why is walking, standing up straight
with no help?’
Where’s his bag
that he put all the coins in that people threw at him?
That IS him, isn’t it?
Naw, it just looks like him, others said
yeah, it IS him!
But how???
“Some guy put mud on my eyes, and told me to go wash,” the man said
After I did, I could see!” he shrugged
Where is this guy? they asked
“I don’t know….”
Nobody said, “Wow!”
Nobody said, “that’s amazing! that’s wonderful!!”
Nobody clapped him the back
or hugged him or playfully hit him in the arm
or held up three fingers to see if he could see them
Instead, they take him by the arm
and drag him to the religious authorities
The authorities collectively
raised one eyebrow and said to him,
tell us what happened
He told them
Well, he can’t be from God!!
Today’s the Sabbath,
he shouldn’t be making mud on the Sabbath!!
You gotta be kidding me
No, this man can’t be from God if he doesn’t keep the Sabbath
But how, others said,
how could a bad man do good things?
How could he do something miraculous,
something God-like, if he isn’t from God??
What do YOU say,
they said to the poor blind guy who unfortunately now
could see the nastiness in the faces around him
“I think he’s a prophet,” he said.
Well, what does HE know??
They bring in the parents, grill them
shove microphones in their faces
what do you think?
Is this your son?
Wasn’t he born blind?
the cameras flash
the reporters crowd in
Yes, yes, they say, he is our son
we don’t know why he can see,
why don’t you ask him?
‘Ah, we did ask him,
we didn’t like what he said!’
By the way, where is Jesus in all of this?
Gone
Moving on down the road
while this poor guy gets interrogated
I’ve always wondered,
why did he leave?
Why didn’t he stay with him
surely he knew this would happen!
Someone pokes the man in the shoulder, says
this Jesus is an imposter,
he can’t make the blind see,
he’s a fake, what are you trying to pull?
Before all this happened
before Jesus had come upon the man in the street
he’d just narrowly escaped having been killed
He said something about existing before even Abraham
and something confusing like that
and the religious people
picked up stones to throw at him
with the intent to kill him
Maybe that’s why he got lost after healing the blind man
knowing that he could get killed
The young man put up his hands,
“I’m not a scholar,
I don’t know all the religious language
or all the rules and regulations,
all I know is that I was blind,
and now I can see… that’s all”
yeah but, yeah but….
The man was ready to get on with his life
go take a bath
get some clean clothes
see what the rest of his life would look like
now that he could see
“Again, I don’t know anything else.
I don’t know much about God
but I do know that God listens to those
who do what is right
Have you ever heard of someone healing the blind?
of course not, it’s never been done
If this man isn’t from God,
I wouldn’t be looking you in the eye right now….”
You’re nothing but dirt, they said
because they couldn’t think of anything thing better to say
They threw him out
they excommunicated him
His only sin was being healed
touched by the hands of Jesus
and he was no longer allowed in the synagogue--
not that he would have allowed before
being a blind beggar
so really, it was no big loss to him
He was blind, and now he could see
After the religious people went away
Jesus showed up again
Of course, the man didn’t recognize him
because the last time Jesus was there
the man couldn’t see him
“Do you believe in the Son of Man?” Jesus said to him
Tell me who he is, I’ll believe
“You’re looking at him,” Jesus said, smiling
And those were very significant words
because the blind man had never looked at anybody before
I believe, he said
“I am the light of the world
I will up the darkness,” Jesus said,
“I will bring things to light that need to be out in the open
I will make things clearer for those who want to see
but those who THINK they can see
are fooling themselves,
and I will reveal them as blind…”
Turns out the religious folks hadn’t gotten too faraway…
they whirled around-- “what,” they said,
“are you saying we’re blind?”
Oh, these guys are smart!!
“If you think you can see,” Jesus said,
“then you are accountable for what you see and what you don’t see
And I think Jesus is saying,
that we can’t turn a blind eye to the world
and what’s going on
because we have been given eyes to see
We can’t pretend we are blind,
any more than we can pretend to see
when we don’t see at all…
“all I know,” said the blind man
is that once I was blind, but now I see…”
He knew who gave him life
he knew who it was that opened his eyes
and he would find, just as he did that day
that having your eyes opened is wonderful
but he would also have to see the ugly
that he’d never had to see before
but I bet he saw what the religious people didn’t see
He saw the blind beggars or the crippled beggars
on the side of the road--
and I bet he helped them
He saw all the ones that the religious people didn’t see
because they were blinded by their religion
But he’d had a powerful encounter with Jesus
and he didn’t know much
he didn’t know all the religious language
or where things were in the Scriptures
But he knew who saved his life
and that was enough
and he was committed, I bet, for the rest of his life
to keep his eyes open
and to share the grace and the life that he’d been given
at the hands of Jesus
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