Good Friday

I've always had a hard time with Good Friday. I've always felt it in my bones. This year I feel the weight of hatred and anger that always culminates in Good Friday. I never understood why it's called Good. It's a day of cruelty-- a bitter reminder of what human beings are capable of. To me it's a reminder of how blind we are to goodness and how we end up crushing it, torturing and killing, thinking that what we are doing is pleasing to God. That's what happened with Jesus. The Church authorities killed him because they thought killing was ok if they believed he was evil and contrary to God. And now their sin is a historic reminder of what hate can do. It can even kill God.

I am a registered Democrat. In rural Nebraska, I may as well wear a scarlet D on my chest. I don't hate Republicans. I just chose out of my conscience to be a Democrat. I don't think God is a Democrat or a Republican. I don't think God is even an American. God is above all our petty differences and labels and boundaries. During the election and now, post-inauguration, I have felt the heat of hatred stirring. I have to keep a low profile. I am a pastor, so people think that I'm supposed to not have strong convictions and opinions, or at least if I do, it should coincide with my parisioners. Pastors are non-people, really, we're not supposed to preach our conscience, our sense of what the Spirit is saying-- at least not if it disagrees with the common opinion.

I don't understand. When George W. was president, if you spoke against the president, it was unpatriotic. If you were a musician, speaking against the president could invite death threats, boycotting of your CDs and public demonstrations against your music. "If you don't like your country, get out," people said. Now, people speak freely against the president and it is in vogue. You can say the most hateful things, even use the "N" word. You can wish for his assasination, send him to hell, call his a fascist, socialist (does anyone know what that word means??), even the Anti-Christ-- and no one accuses you of being unpatriotic. I don't get it. So, it's only unpatriotic to speak against a Republican president? Our democracy only works when it works our way? People voted, Barack Obama won. That's how it works, we vote. The majority vote wins. I don't understand why the rules keep changing. Please tell me why it's ok to berate our President now, and it wasn't ok for the last eight years.

I don't think Barack Obama is the Messiah or even a superhero. I believe he's a good man with a lot of good convictions and a good vision. I don't agree with absolutely everything he believes or says-- shoot, I don't believe or agree with everything my HUSBAND says! People say we should keep religion out of it, until they want to use religion for their purposes. People say he shouldn't be travelling all over the world trying to reconcile America with our brothers and sisters, someone called that "socialist." People hate us all over the world. That's why they sent planes into New York and Washington. It seems to me that to care about the poor, the underprivileged, to want equal opportunities for life and well-being is a socialist agenda. I don't get that.

I had to be in Lincoln for a special Annual Conference the day of the Inauguration, but I watched it on TV. I wept. I felt proud to be an American. They say even in Washington, with people crammed in like sardines, people were courteous and nice to each other, offering each other their taxis, etc. People felt hope, because America made a bold choice for leadership.

I watched the movie "Bobby" a couple of weeks ago. It was about Bobby Kennedy. They used many of his speeches during the movie, and I was incredulous. I didn't know that someone was running for president in the 60s who said the things he did. I'm not surprised they killed him. People grabbed at him like he was a movie star or a rock star. Hispanics, African Americans, the poor-- the otherwise disregarded people grabbed at him, because he SAW them. He wanted to give them a chance. He wanted America to be a place where everyone could get a life. A lot of what he said sounded like the speeches I've heard from Obama this year. And they killed Bobby. And with him, a lot of those visions and dreams were killed. For at least 40 years. I cried hard at the end of the movie. It wasn't hormones, it wasn't stress, or any personal issues. I cried because we keep doing that. We kill visionaries. We kill people who want to make a difference. We accuse them of being equal to Satan, of being the Anti-Christ, of ushering in the End Times. We never learn. And the violence, the hatred escalates.

I hate Good Friday. It's a reminder to me that we're not changing much. They hated Jesus, that's why they killed him. They accused him of getting his powers from Satan. They hated him because he associated with the poor and the people we feel good about hating. They didn't know the word back then, but essentially they accused him of being liberal, as if that's a sin. He was broad-minded. His heart included everybody. Especially the ones that were shut out of the church in the name of God. He was dangerous. Jesus gave people too much freedom. He was radical. He wasn't proper, he dídn't color inside the lines. It was ok to hate him. It was ok to hate him enough to kill him in the most painful, cruel way. And people cheered. "Crucify him! Crucify him!" I can still hear those voices today. Only now we have the internet, 24-hour news channels and best-selling books in which to spew our hate and mob spirit.

I hate Good Friday. It's a horrible reminder that we still have it in us to kill Jesus and his Spirit, thinking that we're pleasing God. I can't do a whole lot to fight against the tidal wave of hostility and cruelty in our world, all done in the name of God. That's one reason that I won't be a pulpit for the rest of my life. People don't listen to anyone in a pulpit anymore. Fox News has much more credibility these days than a preacher.

I hate Good Friday. But Easter's coming. And that's why I still hope. Jesus is the only one who has the power to get beyond our hate and lust for death.