In the Dark

John 3:1-17
June 7, 2009


Barbara Brown Taylor tells the story
of a woman who set out to discover the meaning of life
First she read everything she could get her hands on
history, philosophy, psychology, religion
She became a really smart, intellectual person
but none of it gave her the answers she was looking for
She sought out other smart people
and asked THEM what they thought about the meaning of life
Their discussions were long and interesting,
but none of them agreed on the same thing
and she still got no answer

One day she put all her belongings in storage
and set off to travel in search of the meaning of life
She went to South America, India, Tibet
No matter where she went, no one could tell her the meaning of life
Finally, some said that they knew of a man
who did know, but they weren’t sure where he lived
She continued to travel all over the world until finally,
deep in the Himalayas, someone told her how to reach his house
It was a tiny little hut perched on the side of a mountain
just below the tree line
She climbed and climbed up the mountain to reach his house
When she got there, she was exhausted, and numbed by the cold
But she knocked on the door
“Yes?” she heard a kind voice say.
The man opened the door, and she was so relieved
“I have come halfway around the world to ask you one question,”
she said, still straining to catch her breath
“What is the meaning of life?” she asked
The man smiled
“Please come in and have some tea,” he said,
motioning for her to come inside
“No,” she said, trying not to cry with frustration,
“I mean, thank you, but no. I didn’t come all this way for tea.
I came for an answer.
Please, won’t you tell me what is the meaning of life?”
“We shall have tea,” the old man said,
and so she gave up and went inside
While he was brewing the tea,
she caught her breath and began to tell him
about all the books she’d read,
all the people she had met, all the places she had been
The old man listened, which actually was all he could do,
because she hardly gave him a chance to get a word in….
While she was still talking, he placed a fragile tea cup
in her hand and began to pour the tea
She was so busy talking that she didn’t notice
when the tea cup was full,
so the old man kept pouring until the tea
ran over the sides of the cup
and down to the floor in a steaming waterfall
The woman jumped back and nearly dropped the cup
“What are you doing??” she yelled, the tea burning her hand
“It’s full, can’t you see that? Stop! There’s no more room!”
“Just so,” the old man said to her, handing her a towel.
“You come here wanting something from me,
but what am I to do?
There is no room in your cup.
Come back when it is empty and then we will talk.”

Meanwhile, several thousand miles to the west
a leader of the Jews named Nicodemus
was skirting around in the dark
He looked a little silly, really,
all dressed up in his fancy robes and hat
looking over his shoulder every few minutes
stumbling around in the dark
But he found the campfire,
and Jesus looked up at him
as if he knew he was coming and wondered what took him so long?
Nicodemus was a very intelligent and highly educated man
He had read many, many books,
and had countless discussions and given as many lectures
on God and religion
He had a respectable place in the Church Structure
He had made it
But he still had questions, and who could he ask?
Jesus was not so respected among his colleagues
Some of them called him a communist, a demon,
they had all kinds of names for him
but they all agreed on the idea that Jesus was dangerous
So Nicodemus could not allow his colleagues to know
that he was coming to talk to Jesus
He could lose his job
He’d seen other colleagues discredited and shamed
for much less…
So he had to be careful

He came to Jesus at night
in the dark
“Rabbi,” he said, “we know that you are teacher who has come from God,
for no one can do these signs that you do apart from
the presence of God…”
Jesus smiled
He didn’t challenge him on that
but “We”
Who’s “we”, Nicodemus?
Your colleagues think I’m from God?
Your colleagues think that what I do comes from
being connected to God?
He might have chuckled to himself
That’s not what I heard….

But Jesus ignored the brown-nosing
and poured tea all over Nicodemus’ hand ….
“I gotta tell you, Nicodemus, no one can see the kingdom of God
without being born from above, or born again…”
Nicodemus jumped a bit
but looked over his shoulder one more time
and sat down
“What are you saying? How can anyone be born after
having grown old?....”
Why was Nicodemus there?
If he had all the answers, which clearly his uniform
represented one who had all the answers,
why was he out sneaking a meeting with Jesus?
Everyone came to Nicodemus and his colleagues
for the answers
he could not be seen as questioning
or exploring, or doubting …
And engaging Jesus in conversation
was certainly a terrible risk
If he entered into conversation with one
that was seen as the enemy
then his colleagues would see that
as a betrayal not only of them
but of their traditions, their religion
their institution….

Why is it that our doubts, our questions
often arise in the middle of the night?
When we’re all alone, everything else is quiet
and there are no distractions?
Nicodemus seems to be hungering for more
He has all the answers,
he has all the answers to all the questions
that he thought needed to be asked
His colleagues seemed satisfied
they don’t seem to want any more
they seem satisfied
and if they’re not, they are not telling anyone
Maybe they ask questions
but it’s not safe for them to admit that to each other
because it could get them kicked out,
fired, and disgraced
they had an image to uphold
after all, if they, the leaders of the Church
didn’t have all the answers,
people might panic—
if THEY don’t have all the answers, then who does?

But Jesus seems to be saying to Nicodemus
‘hey, you’ve got all the answers,
I can’t help you…
there is no more room in you
to put any more…
we’re not even talking the same language…’
How can Nicodemus make room for new truth?
Or for more questions?
How can he make room in his heart for faith?

We people in the Church who have grown up
with all the church language
take it for granted, I think
So much so, that I’m not sure we ever think about it
People, especially political leaders who want to win over
a certain group of voters,
may say, “I’m a born again Christian.”
and some people feel very good about that
But I want to say, “what does that mean?
What does that mean to you?
Tell me your story…
tell me what gives you life,
what gives you hope….”

What does it mean to be born again?
or born from above?
If I were to say that I’m born again
I’d have to say it’s happened many times
there have been countless times in my life
when I felt dead inside
or so wracked with grief
that I didn’t think I could go on
and then God brings someone into my life
to help me walk again
to help me breathe again
someone who believes in me
and convincingly says, “you’re going to be ok,”
and slowly I have healed over time
and with lots of love
and each of those times, I would say I was born again
because I felt like I was dying
and then I came back to the land of the living
Anytime I have grown in wisdom
often gotten the hard way,
any time I have experienced healing in a relationship
or the pain of losing someone
is a little less debilitating
each of those times
I am born again
transformed, strengthened, healed
given new life
And I have many stories to tell about those times

Jesus said we must be born from above
above, to me, and in my understanding
means heaven
I am born of heaven
Yeah, I was born the normal way, through my human mother and father
but I am also born of heaven
I believe I am a child of God
and I believe that God is always seeking to create me anew
to challenge and refresh me
To be born again, means that you have to grow up again
and it’s humbling to admit
that we all need to grow up again
that sometimes we need to start over
Nicodemus was entrenched in the traditions of his faith
and that’s not bad at all
but it is a problem
when the religious words, religious traditions
keep us so full
that we don’t have any room for more
If we have all the answers, set in stone tablets
then we’re not going to grow or be challenged
If we think we know everything already
that God wants us to know
than we can’t grow anymore, and we’re kind of dead
I am very suspicious of anyone who thinks they have all the answers
I think, to be born from above
means that we are not from around here, ultimately
We don’t just buy everything we are given here on this earth
we don’t believe everything that we’re expected to believe
because “everyone else believes it”
We are willing to stand out
We are willing to say, “Hey, have you ever thought about this?”
I think it’s growing increasingly dangerous
to stand out in the crowd
there’s so much violent conversation everywhere
that if you stand out and question
what people are saying
you, like Nicodemus, could lose your credibility
Someone will call you a communist
a socialist, a radical, whatever, we have all kinds of names
to shut up people we don’t want to listen to

I like Nicodemus
He was brave
he could have lost everything, he could have been labeled a traitor
He could have been completely discredited in the community
for just giving Jesus the benefit of the doubt
He saw something in Jesus
even though his colleagues dismissed him as a dangerous radical
And he saw something he wanted to explore
something that touched a hunger deep in his heart
something that made him risk everything
So he was halfway there
There is hope for Nicodemus
He already stepped out into the uncertainly of the dark
to find the more that he was looking for
He seemed to have gotten only more questions
but it seems that the questions that Jesus offered him
would keep his digging, searching, exploring
taking him ever deeper into the spirit of God
allowing him to let go of all the control he thought he had
so that God could do something with him
Make him a curious child again
so that he could grow up again and again
growing ever wiser in the things of the heart and spirit
He already had plenty of knowledge
now he needed faith
he needed a relationship, a connection, a living connection
with the Spirit of God
He learned that believing doesn’t mean having all the answers
believing means trusting,
means living in relationship that is always new
always full of surprises
which means there is always risk of pain and confusion
But God, Jesus said, did not send the Son into the world
to condemn the world…
but in order that the world might be saved through him….
Did you get that?
Because it seems like a lot of people don’t get that
Jesus didn’t come here to condemn and to damn
he came to save
but he didn’t come to save individual souls
just so we could see the golden streets of heaven
He came to save the world, the whole world…
Why?
Why does the world need saving?
I don’t think we have to ponder that one too long…
God longs for the whole world to be saved, to be healed
to be in peace, to be ONE….
If you really think about that, that’s a really scary thing
do we want the whole world to be saved?
Even people we hate?
Even countries that have weapons pointed at us?
The WHOLE world?
That’s the reason Jesus came into the world
that we may have life and have it abundantly…
that we can act like him, speak like him,
behave like him…
and that through our lives, one more corner of the world
will have a little more light in it…
will be a little further along in being saved
But we have to get past all the religious language
and figure out what it all means
God wants to save the world
and God sent Jesus to get that started
and Jesus sent US to continue that mission
But we have to be brave
we have to keep walking into the dark
not always having the answers
but to be willing to listen
to be a little empty, so that God can fill us up
to be willing to stumble around in the dark
as we keep looking for Jesus
and allowing him to lead us by the hand
trusting and believing that God will supply us
with everything we need to help Jesus save the world….