backwards and forwards

my father used to say

"sometimes you have to go backwards

in order to move forward"

and sometimes that's true

but sometimes i've gotten stuck

in the backwards

stuck in the tangled webs

roots

and unseen hazards that dwell there

i have to look backwards

sometimes

to get my bearings

but then

a forward step

a swish and a turn

a sidestep

no hurry

because there's no end

to where we're going

no hurry

i savor what isee

smell, touch, taste

give thanks

take a step

and that step moves me

sometimes a little bit ahead

sometimes a slight curve back

in case there's something

that was forgotten

this is not a race

there are no losers

sometimes i just close my eyes

and let the current carry me

when i don't have the stuff

to carry myself

the current will not forsake us

i hate to say that my father

was right

that there are treasures

in the past

that help guide the future

but the past is only a place to visit

it is no longer a good place to dwell

and so i've learned

to move more gracefully

less urgently

less anxious about who will

arrive ahead of me 

all i want is a hand to hold

as i dream

and dance

and love 

and seek

and wonder

there is no end

there is just beginnings

and so

i just take

another step