Don't Look Down

“ROCKING THE BOAT”
Matthew 14:22-33
Faith United
August 10, 2008


I used to love to watch The Road Runner cartoon
with Wyle E. Coyote
but on the other hand,
I was always so frustrated for the poor coyote
I’m sure I wasn’t alone in that
I just wanted, ONCE, for the coyote to get the roadrunner --
not kill him, mind you, just catch him!
You remember, though
the roadrunner would run straight off a cliff
keep running so fast he was running on air
and he’d always make it to the other side
The Coyote, however, would run off the cliff
stop in mid-air
his feet still running at top speed
when he made his fatal mistake --
He looked down….
Then he’d look at us with that usual expression
as if to say “oops, I did it again,”
his feet would stop spinning
and he’d fall straight down to the ground
You’d think he’d learn after a few times of that
to NOT LOOK DOWN
and that maybe, by cartoon magic,
he’d be able to keep running on air
and maybe not catch the roadrunner
but at least not plummet to earth again
Ah, but of course, that would mess up the story
if the doomed coyote didn’t keep running into disaster…

This passage makes me think of Wyle E. Coyote
call me crazy
but I wonder what would have happened in the story
if Peter DIDN’T look down
Would he have sunk? you gotta wonder
Was his mistake simply that he looked down?

When I was serving as an associate at the Aurora United Methodist Church
about 10 years ago,
I was called to the Emergency Room
at St. Francis in Grand Island
I was told that a mother and her three kids had been
in a terrible car accident
the mother had been killed
the son had already been flown to Omaha
and the two girls were
at the St. Francis Emergency room
Would I come be with them because they were scared?
They didn’t know yet, that their mother had been killed

When I got to St. Francis
the girls were in two different rooms
and both of them had to get X rays
They were in a lot of pain
and had been cut up pretty badly
Since the priority was getting the X rays first,
they hadn’t been cleaned up

Now there’s a good reason
that I am NOT the one in our family
going into nursing
I am horribly squeamish
I can’t stand the sight of blood
well, at least a lot of it at one time….
But I was the pastor of the moment
and I went into the one little girl’s room
She was covered in blood
from all her cuts and injuries
and she was terrified
So my pastoral instinct kicked in
and I talked to her, soothed her
and was able to get her to calm down
We even kidded around, and I made her giggle
I held her hand when she went in for X rays
I went back and forth between the two girls’ rooms,
visiting with each of them
At one point, I looked more closely at the one girl
she was no longer bleeding,
but they hadn’t cleaned her up yet
and there was dried blood everywhere
I thought to myself,
“wow, I’m doing pretty well!”
and that was it
It was like the coyote looking down after he runs off a cliff
All of a sudden I got light-headed, dizzy
I got hot and cold all at the same time
I was suddenly very nauseous
and I was sweating profusely

“Excuse me,” I said to the little girl
as calmly as I could
and I slipped out into the hallway
where a nurse saw me stumbling around
and pushed me down into a wheelchair
and put a cold cloth on the back of my neck
and forced my head between my knees
right out in there in the middle of the hallway
It was so embarrassing
They were all kind, of course
But I heard one nurse kind of giggle and say,
“That’s the pastor!”

When I recovered awhile later
and went back into the girl’s room
she was grinning and giggling
“You almost fainted, didn’t you?”
And for a moment in her worst day ever
she could laugh at the crazy preacher
who almost fainted in the hallway…

I remember one woman in one of my congregations
tell me that this was her least favorite Jesus story
the story of Jesus walking on the water
I mean, what is that? she said
What does that have to do with me?
What good does it do me that Jesus can walk on water?
and how can I possibly relate to that?
It’s a good fairy tale, she said
but I don’t get it
what does that have to do with real life?

She had a point
and in fact, she wasn’t the only person over the years
to share that opinion with me
What was the point of Jesus walking on water?
I mean, now we use the expression, 'oh, he just thinks she walks on water'
to mean that somebody thinks the world of another person
and they can do no wrong in someone’s eyes
but aside from giving us a catchy little image
what does this story have to do with everyday life?
What do I care that Jesus walked on water?

Well, first of all,
it was a big day already
Jesus had just fed five thousand men
plus women and children on the hillside
with a few loaves and a couple of fish
So the day was already a bit outrageous and unbelievable
but then Jesus sends the disciples away
I guess he needed a breather from all the people
He puts the disciples into a boat
and sends them out onto the sea

Surely he knew there was going to be a storm
I mean, this is Jesus
why did he send the disciples out onto the water
when he must have known a storm was coming?
Surely he saw the thunderheads building
What was he thinking?

Anyway, Jesus went up the mountain to pray
which was also not a good place to be in a thunderstorm
but when he gets back down the mountain
he looks out on the water and sees his poor buddies
holding on for dear life to the side of the boat
some of them retching, probably, from sea-sickness
but they were terrified
thinking for sure they were going to die
The boat was being battered by the waves
the wind was horrible
the rain was blinding them
and they couldn’t get anywhere,
as the wind was against them
Early in the morning,
it says the disciples saw Jesus walking on the stormy waves
only they didn’t know it was Jesus
Why would they know it was Jesus?
Who would expect to look up and see their best friend
strolling across the surface of the sea?
Some of them screamed with terror
“It’s a ghost!” someone said
Which under the circumstances, wasn’t all that far-fetched
I mean, remember, we’re not talking about modern thinkers here
back then, in that culture
the sea was already a frightening place to be,
storm or not storm
The ancient peoples believed that the sea
was the mysterious home of demonic forces
It was that place on earth where chaos still reigned
and had power
they believed that evil spirits lived in the sea
and what else did they have to explain
these terrible storms
that threatened people’s lives?
They weren’t meteorologists or scientists
and most everything that was terrifying
and life-threatening
was explained by the presence of evil spirits

So, of course they thought they saw a ghost
They thought one of the demons of the sea
was coming to get them
But Jesus yells out across the winds and the waves
“Chill out! It’s me! Don’t be afraid…”
or something along those lines…
Peter wiped the water out of his eyes
and pushed back his wet hair

“Jesus!” he screamed into the tumult
“If it IS you, then command me to come to you on the water.”
Now that was a little weird…
Why would he say that?
Why didn’t he say, “Hey, Jesus, if it really IS you,
why don’t you stop this crazy storm so we can talk?”
or better yet, “Jesus, if it really IS you, then prove it,
tell me what I had for breakfast!”
But no,
Peter is the bumbling lug of the group
He says, “let me come to you on the water, if it’s really you.”
I can imagine Jesus suppressing a smile
when he said, “Ok, Peter, fine. Come here.”
Peter, the crazy one
who was always speaking before he thought
saying the first thing that came to his mind
like a little kid
Peter, always stumbling over himself
to impress Jesus
trying to look cool
when inside he was really terrified
Peter, who confessed
on Caesarea Phillipi that Jesus was the Messiah
when in reality, he had no idea what he was saying,
or what it meant…
but he said it!
Jesus, c’mon, make me walk on water!!
he says in the midst of a major storm

“Ok,” Jesus said, “come here, Peter.”
And that crazy Peter gets out of the boat
into that place of chaos and horror
that place where demons were said to dwell
and like a little kid just learning to walk
he put one foot in front of the other
and started strutting his stuff toward Jesus
Look at me! Ha! I’m doing it! his face must have said
and then he made his mistake --
like me in the emergency room,
or Wyle E. Coyote in mid-air
Peter LOOKED DOWN

I can’t even imagine what he would’ve said
when he looked down
because I don’t know what the common cuss words were
back in 30 A.D.
but I bet Peter said them
And then he said,
“Help Jesus! Save me!!”
as the water came up to his chest
and he swallowed some sea salt
Jesus immediately reached out his hand
grabbed Peter’s hand in a firm grip
and pulled him up, and over into the boat
where Peter collapsed in a soggy heap
panting and trying to catch his breath
His face pale and his eyes wide
Jesus then stepped into the boat
as if he were simply getting in from the shore
and looked at the soggy mass of Peter and said,
“You of little faith! Why did you doubt?”

And the winds died down
the sea was calm
and in the quiet, they could suddenly hear the splash of the water
against the side of the boat
as it settled down again
Why did you doubt?
It’s kind of a dumb question,
no offense to Jesus
but hey, he doubted because no one can walk on water!
At least that THEY knew of…
You step out of the boat on the stormy sea
and yeah, common sense says you’re going to go swimming!
Not strutting around like you’re on the red carpet!
Why did he doubt?—what kind of question is that?
In fact, it’s not fair
people have used this passage, this response of Jesus
to chastise themselves
for not having enough faith
They believe their child died
because they didn’t have enough faith
or that they were injured in a car accident
because they didn’t have enough faith
or that God didn’t answer their prayers
to heal their loved one from cancer
because the one praying didn’t have enough faith

We can torture ourselves with guilt
Why WOULDN’T Peter doubt?
Why wouldn’t WE doubt when we see someone we love
lying in a hospital bed
attached to tubes and machines
not looking at all like the person we love?
Why wouldn’t WE doubt when day after day
senseless war goes on and on and on
and there seems to be no end to it?
Why wouldn’t WE doubt when there are so many things at stake
in this upcoming election
and candidates are reduced to insulting each other
like children on a playground?
Why wouldn’t WE doubt
when there’s just not enough money to pay for everything?

I don’t think Jesus was scolding Peter for doubting
his ability to walk on water
Because Jesus knows that in fact,
we are walking on water all the time
When someone we love dies
getting out of bed in the morning
feels as difficult as walking on water
When we get a frightening diagnosis
going about our lives each day
doing normal everyday things
feels like trying to walk on water
When 9/11 happened
I really didn’t want to be a pastor that week
Like everyone else, I was scared and shocked and grieved
it felt like the world was falling apart
But I was the pastor,
I had to comfort my people
when I felt like I wanted someone to comfort ME
to tell me that we’d get through this
Walking into church that Sunday morning,
5 days after the Twin Towers fell
and having to preach a message to a jam-packed room
full of shocked and broken people
THAT felt like I was being asked to step out
and walk on water…
It felt that impossible
It felt like all of us were in a boat that was being rocked
and thrown around on the sea
we couldn’t get our bearings
we couldn’t feel solid ground beneath us

Why did you doubt, Peter? Jesus asked him
when it really seemed like a dumb question
but I don’t think Jesus was scolding Peter
I think maybe in that moment, he saw Peter for who he truly was
he saw a man willing to step out of the boat
in the midst of a storm
He saw a man willing to say, “I think you’re the Messiah,”
when he was just an uneducated fishermen
with no degrees in theology
He saw a man who would do anything for Jesus
even step out onto the water
just because he loved Jesus that much
He also saw a man who would deny him
when the storms got too heavy
when he was up against it
and he was literally scared to death

He saw a man with great capacity for love and strength
and also a man who could be weak and afraid
He saw Peter the Rock, the one on whom he could build a church
but a man who couldn’t necessarily walk on water
because he was a man
who got scared, who knew incredible pain
but could also turn pain into strength
I think he truly loved Peter in that moment,
He saw in him the balance of strength and weakness
power and vulnerability

“Why did you doubt, Peter?”
and yet he saw that with the ability to doubt
the ability to be afraid and weak
Peter would also be able to be the Rock
whom others would lean on into the future…

What if Peter HADN’T sunk?
What if he magically strutted across that water
and started a little two-step with Jesus
out there on the waves?
What if all the disciples did it?
What if they all jumped out and started running around
on the water, chasing each other
and starting a game of touch football?

It’d be an impressive story
really amazing, actually
but then it wouldn’t be a story about US
Because the truth is,
sometimes we have great moments
when we shine and blossom and thrive
Times that we show incredible strength
when we do great things for others or the world
and have great gifts
Times, like the road runner,
when we are walking quite successfully on air

But there are many other times
when we simply SINK
when we can’t get our bearings,
when we can’t see where we’re going
when it feels like the world has ended
and we don’t know how to keep walking
when it feels like the ground beneath is
is nothing but water

And it’s those times,
when we are slapped in the face
with the harsh reality
that we are only human
that we are not gods
and that if we’re going to get up again
if we’re going to simply put one foot in front of the other
or get out of bed another day
we need help
We need to reach out to the One who made us
the one who is always giving us life and strength
and hope and love
The one who CAN walk on water,
if need be
to come save us, to come get us back on our feet
and give us the power to be the gracious, loving force in the world
that is so desperately needed

Sometimes I confess I wish Jesus would leave me alone
let me just sink when I feel like sinking
and he does, but he doesn’t go very far away
He’s always there, waiting for me to reach out a hand
to surrender, to trust
that he can get me on my feet again
and by his grace we can all face the demonic forces in the world
we can all stand tall against the winds and the rains
and not let them take over
not let them destroy us

Jesus gives us the power and the faith
to stand against evil
and everything that frightens us
or makes us want to give up and let the waters roll over us
No, I’m glad Peter sunk
that he couldn’t walk on water
because I can’t either
and this story wouldn’t help me much
unless Peter was just like me
Scared but willing to step out of the boat
not knowing when the next big wave will hit
but knowing that I don’t walk alone
WE don’t walk alone

Why did Peter and the disciples get into the boat in the first place
on a stormy day?
To get to the other side
Because evil and horror and pain and loss
are not the final word of the story
Jesus calls all of us to come forward
to step out, one step at a time
against all odds
so that we, too, can get to the other side
The side of love, compassion, peace,
joy, freedom, and all the wonderful things that God
wants the world to know
Just remember to keep your eyes on the horizon
keep your eyes looking there for Jesus
and whatever you do,
DON'T LOOK DOWN