Woman

I am a Woman

I bear the weight of history
in my bones
the Curse of Eden

As a child
I sat in church
in white leotards
and black patent-leather shoes
and learned of my biblical choices

to be a saint, pure and faultless
virginal
or to be a whore, the Jezebel
Delilah who brings good men down
a Daughter of Eve

I was forever to blame
for all that was wrong
with the world

if I had sex
the boy became a man
and I became a slut
if I had sex without consent
I was doubted, my scruples shredded
I must have "wanted it"
or my skirt was too short,
my blouse too low
my dancing too provocative

I learned I needed a man
to make all the important decisions
as I was not trustworthy
too emotional, hormonal
irrational
needing control

my breasts were the brunt
of jokes
told at the water cooler
or over a beer
used to sell hot wings and lust

I was reduced to a body
from which to take pleasure
take
take
take

I feel the shame
in my blood
declared unclean
in all my woman-ness

shame of centuries
bearing the brunt of violence
blame for a man's impotence
horror at the thought that Jesus
would be physically associated
with the filthiness

of a woman
a wife

my sisters compete against me
shame me
divide us into good and bad
instead of banding together
so many clinging tenaciously
to the Lie
that We Have It Good

if I assert myself
show initiative
use my brain and my power
I am a Bitch or a Man-Eater

I am praised for acting Lady-like
deferring to men less competant
eating my rage
smiling against the bile
in the back of my throat

preachers shake their bibles
at me
demanding that I be satisfied
with living in man's shadow
accepting his god-given privilege
superiority

I Am A Woman
I have moved mountains
won battles that should have killed me
given birth to Beauty
wept tears that watered gardens
brought Color, Depth and
Astonishing Vistas

I have comforted, given hope
built homes and healed wounds
taught, shaped, and empowered
daughters and sons
confidant of their foundation

I have seen the Face of God
in deepest sorrow
in highest Overcoming

I have blessed and given
holy bread
had my hand torn open
by righteous dmanation
at the altar
accused of apostasy
and witchcraft
as I blessed the children
prayed for the dying

but

I am a Woman
a Daughter of Eve
The Mother of All Living
Keeper of the Garden
Seeker of Knowledge
Fighter
Nurturer
Overcomer

Daughter of God
Incarnation of Life
Mirror of Divinity

Beater of Odds

I am a Woman
a Survivor
Life Giver

I am a Woman
God's Creation
and

I am

Good.