resurrection

"In the midst of life we are in death, from whom can we seek help?"

-9th century

the first time

i died

was when cancer

stole you

all i remember

of purgatory

was the

nothingness

emptiness

i don't remember

feeling

and i wondered

if that was what

death felt like

but your death

gave me a boundary

living in the end-times

gave me relief

a limit

a horizon

an end i could see

the second time

i died

my childhood playmate

ceased breathing

no illness

no accident

no tidy explanation

her body

made its own

decision

to cease

then death

was around every corner

lurked in closets

behind every wheel

like a probation officer

waiting for me to make a mistake

life and death

played tug of war

with my soul

and always

there was you

in the shadows

of every friendship

i could hear

your giggle

in every grace note

the third time

i died was

when i walked

that lonesome valley

beside the friend

who snatched my hand

because she didn't want

to walk it by herself

but then she sighed

and let go of my grip

i descended into Hades

kicked butt with some demons

and hoped for the worst

not realizing that the worst

had already happened

so i decided

to leave hell

and live

until i died

for good.