what i know

(the writing prompt was overwhelmed, in the poetry from of Ballad.

this is my attempt)

as a child I loved to play
in the powerful mysterious waves
and pretend i was a might sailor
with stranded passengers to save

i teased the water crashing down
daring it to show its power
back and forth, back and forth
i played my scenes for hours

but the water was too much for me
and grabbed me off my feet
the undertow pulled me down
i knew that i'd been beat

i flailed my arms and sucked in water
suddenly frightened for my life
nothing to hold or grab onto
as the sand cut me like a knife

i sucked in water as i tried to find
a way to stand up straight
i fumbled back to my feet
still unbalanced by my weight

when those days come to me
and it all fades into black
when nothing's really prompted it
but the demons come on back

no one can know just how it feels
to have no sense of control
when the darkness gathers 'round again
and i cannot redeem my soul

it feels like when i was a little girl
 tumbled by the tide
with nothing to grab onto
but all hope in me has died

i say my mantras, i say my prayers
nothing seems to be
as powerful as the curse that haunts
 relentlessly pursuing  me

but so i live and hope and love
followed always by a shadow
learning how to ride the waves
and hope in what i know